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Full text of "Broadway Brevities, August 1922"

AUGUST 
19 2 2 



A CENTRAL PARK WEST SCANDAL! 



PRICE 
35 Cents 



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MAE W E S 7 



"FORTY-FIVE MINUTES FROM BROADWAY 
— ON THE MERRICK ROAD" 

Pavillon Royal 

(PALAIS ROYAL MANAGEMENT) 

VALLEY STREAM, L. I. 

"For Discriminating People" 

EDWARD ELKINS' ORCHESTRA 

(No Couvert Charge at Dinner) 



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POPULAR ACTRESSES 
USE DERWILLO 

THE INSTANT BEAUTIFIER 

MILLIONS of girls and women use it in preference to face 
powders or other beautifiers, because it's absolutely harmless, 
and "stays on." When you use Derwillo you can leave your 
"powder puff" at home. Not necessary to keep "touching up" all 
the time to keep your nose and face from shining. Perspiration does 
not affect it, and it will not rub off on clothing. It's famous for the 
instant beauty it imparts. Manufactured in 3 shades: flesh, white and 
brunette. The following are a few of the actresses who recommend it: 
Milzi, Dorothy Dalton, Louise Glaum, Viola Dana, Ruth Roland, 
Louise Huff, Anna Q. Nillson, Florence Eldridge. Vola Vale, Bessie 
Love. Mabel Julienne Scott, Alice Lake, Carmel Myers, Colleen 
Moore. Enid Bennett. Clara Horton, Priscilla Dean, Mildred Davis, 
Patsy Ruth Miller, Miss Du Pont, Eileen Sedgewick, and Edna Morn. 

Note: — Before applying Derwillo cleanse your face with Lisl(a jjj 
cold cream and you mill have a complexion as soft as velvet and £J 
as beautiful as a rose. Both are sold at toilet counters everywhere, (j; 

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Broadway Brevities 1 



£252SH525H5E5E5E5H5E5H5H5E5E5E5S5E5B5H5H5E5HSH5Hi dS2%l 



Gus Schult's 
"BEN-HUR" 



A beautifully appointed 
all-year- round resort 
but 45 min. from B'way. 

At CITY ISLAND, N. Y. 
A Rendezvous for Broadway ites 

DANCING 

on an ideal floor 
illinium 

DINING 

Moderate Prices 
minium 

MUSIC 

AND 

Entertainment 

—BY- 
JOE GEISLER'S 
HAPPY SERENADERS 

illinium 

A Live Bull Puppy Awarded in 

Dancing Contests Each Evening 

f:> : 25KH£?5K25E5H5aSE5H5H5H5S5H5E5E5H5E5E5H5E5E5E5H5c. 



2 Broadivay Brevities 



The 

BOARDWALK 

A Bit of Atlantic City on Broadway! 

ENTERTAINMENT EXTRAORDINARY, 
including Colelta Ryan, Kitty Kelly, Lovey Lee, 
Bennett Twins and the Hollywood Bathing Vamps 

DANCING 
BROADWAY at 48th STREET 



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Always the brightest spot in Town 

LITTLE CLUB 

in 44th Street Theatre Building 

A Unique After-Theatre and Supper Club. 
Unsurpassed Cuisine and a Most Excellent 
Dance Orchestra in Ultra-Refined Surroundings. 

Jos. Raymond's Original Little Club Orch. 

Dancing from 9.30 till Closing 
Phone Bryant 827— "ASK FOR VAL" 



l£5H5H5H5S5H5H5HSH5P5H525£5H5E5H5252525H5E5E5E5S5E5E5E5H5E5ESE5E5H5H5E5a; 



Broadway Brevities 3 



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Vol. 1. August, 1922. No. 14 


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R E V I T I E S inc 


| 


== 


(Copyright, 1922) 


1 


I 


Published by BREVITIES, Inc. 


| 


a Steph 
m Thos. 


:n G. Clow, Presdt. Janice Clow 
O'Connell, Vice-Pres. Secy. & Treas. 


= 


| 


Knickerbocker Theatre Bldg. 1400 Broadway 


1 


= 


Issued Monthly on the 22d, inst. 


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BY HOPATCONG'S PLEASANT 
WATERS 

Don't tell a soul about it, for we do 
not want it to go any farther, but on 
a recent week-end at Lake Hopatcong 
we ran across the cutest little trick in 
the form of a full-fledged gambling joint 
you could find in four states. It's right 
by the placid waters of the Lake, in a 
picturesque old house said to have been 
owned at one time by Lotta Crabtree. 
(A lady guide in the party comically 
called her Lotta Crabapple — such is 
fame!) Well, if you have a few idle 
hours on your hands up there, after 
stacking your Ford, snoop round the 
Lake near the Alamac, and have a try 
at the roulette wheel. After you're 
cleaned you can relax by inspecting the 
rare, old carved mantel Lotta brought 
from the Orient, or the ancient oils hung 
in the foyer. Following this you can 
find out how much Mons. Latz will allow 
you as a temporary loan on your Lizzie. 



Passing through Dover, N. J. you read 
a funny sign : "Drive slow and see our 
town. Drive fast and see our Jail." 
With Ralph Farnum at the wheel bets 
are on the Jail. 



All the way to Lake H. you notice 
the biggest-advertised act on any "time." 
It's Polarine, probably a single. .. .You 
learn from a sign-post outside of Morris- 
town that Newfoundland is "only 24 

miles." "Cook's Restaurant" near 

Caldwell is self-explanatory. .. .Matthew 
Arnold was asked what was the one 
thing he remembered best from a trip 
to America. He said. "Two horses, at- 
tached to an ice-sled on Lake Erie, with 
their heads turned half round.". .. .Our 
gem from the Lake H. trip was a Collie 
dog standing on the running board of a 



big Packard, which his master was pro- 
jecting at about 50 miles the hour. 

On the Jersey City Boulevard we saw 
Old Man Campbell's Mausoleum, back 
of it what looked like an English castle, 
said to be the crematory. It was an 
inspiriting start for a 53 mile dash. Oh, 
very! 

THE LADIES JACKSON AND 
ELIAS 

What ever did become of old Mrs. 
Jackson who started to pull Claire Elias 
into court this spring — and why was the 
case dropped? Mrs. Jackson kept lodg- 
ings at Long Beach last summer, and it 
is said that the sweet and beautiful mil- 
liner alleged she had lost some clothing 
and a bunch of "fish" at said habitation. 
The Elias person is always "losing" 
something. She's the biggest laugh 
Broadway has. Some day we'll tell you 
why, with complete details. 

* * * 

Kitty Doner, the well-known Keith 
headliner, is vacationing in Europe after 
a successful season. 

* * * 

Is it true that Dotty King stayed up 
all night waiting for a letter from Nan- 
tucket. Mass.? But why should anyone 
lose sleep for a letter from a place like 
that. 

* * * 

YET YOU WONDER WHY 
AMERICA LEADS IN PARESIS! 

A press agent, the other day, sent out 
on behalf of Irene Franklin a story that 
Irene came home recently and found a 
terrible state of affairs. Her little 
daughter, Elizabeth, was yowling: "Mum- 
ma. there isn't a single piece of candy 
in this house." Irene hurried to a candy 
store to relieve the situation. For this 
boy, all together, the enamelled phial of 
carbolic. 



4 Broadway Brevities 




,r . A fetching pose of the truly great singing and dancing artiste 

IVllSS who has made "Ty-Tce" a part of her fame. To that lovely 

G.jj air she has imparted a bewitching thrill of romance. We've 

I Ida gone a hundred times to Gilbert Boag's DEAUVILLE BATH- 

s~i 1NG BEACH at midnight to hear it. Gilda appears this year 

Kjray not only at DEAUVILLE, but in the new " Follies." and in 
the "Follies" she has no peer. 



Broadway Brevities 5 




LOOKING 'E/^ 

OVELR^ 

U 





In response to thousands of wires and 
letters pouring in on BROADWAY 
BREVITIES, we have consented to 
name the twelve greatest living Ameri- 
cans, both male and female. They are 
herewith submitted, and we feel our de- 
cision will be received enthusiastically in 
all parts of the union : 

TWELVE GREATEST AMERICAN 
MEN 

Nick the Greek 

Louis Cohen 

Nedick 

Joe Yoeng 

Billy Gallagher 

Sully, the Barber 

Paddy the Pig 

Swoboda 

Dr. Roth 

Kid Griffo 

Harry Bestry 

Our Bootlegger (anonymous) 

TWELVE GREATEST AMERICAN 
WOMEN 

Mother Childs 

Mary T. Goldman 

Claire Elias 

Florence Mills 
Aunt Jemima 
and the 7 Sutherland Sisters. 

SPARKLERS DISAPPEAR IN 
JOE SMALLWOOD'S INN 

Old friend. Joe Smallwood, who owns 
Glenwood Lodge, near Roslyn, has had 
a lot of excitement in his place recently. 
Mrs. H. E. Aitken, of 125 East 56th 
street, lunched in Joe's recherche resort 
about two weeks ago, and shortly after 
she left missed three rings, valued at 
the modest honorarium of $16,000. She 
dashed back with her escort, H. D. Con- 
nick, and turned the place upside down 
— but no rings in sight. Then she took 
down a squad of sleuths who made a 



third degree search for the missing 
articles of bijouterie — same success. Old 
pal, Joe, of course is deeply distressed, 
and in his distress forgot for three whole 
days to mount his old motor truck and 
drive up to New York for steaks and 
vegetables, as has been his won't these 
many years. Joe isn't alone in his em- 
barrassment, for if we recall correctly, 
that distinguished member of the BUNK 
CLUB, Joe Pani, had a similar loss 
occur in his sylvan retreat known as 
Woodmansten just a short time ago. 
Well, it's awful, whatever way you look 
at it. 

* * * 

Billy Weston, one of the survivors of 
the old flagellation club on Ninth avenue, 
seems to be keeping fairly busy with 
some of our most representative citizens. 
Billy seems to just hop from one in- 
fatuation to another — that is, if you want 
to drop into that kind of terminology. 
Hubby took a hand in it the other day, 
and gave Billy a brand new set of hand- 
tooled blue prints — you know, the old 
divorce stuff. Avocato Hccheimer is 
handling the hubby end of it. A wee 
bit of uneasiness is felt in certain quar- 
ters. Morris and the "Count," and Leon 
(deceased) have all been on the honor 
roll of Billy's admirers, and as none of 
them ever did anything to our knowledge 
except take the little lady to lunch, we 
see no earthly reason for their dis- 
quietude, as we never heard yet of it 
being a crime to take a pretty girl out 
for the eats. If "lunch" is to become 
a crime, then all we can say is, woe 
betide many of Broadway's best men. 
* * * 

Magistrate Edward Weil ruled, not 
long ago, that hereafter all monkeys must 
be barred from Broadway. Now, don't 
misunderstand, he wasn't hitting at the 
dance halls or handing a warning to the 
Zoo. The ruling arose in connection 
with Karl Berkowitz, who you've seen , 
many a time on the old cow-path, being 
wheeled on a push cart, carrying a mon- 
key therewith. We've seen Berkowitz 
on Broadway for years — at one time he 



6 Broadivay Brevities 



used to walk the lower Broadway sec- 
tion, selling pencils, tapping his cane on 
the pavement to guide his blind steps. 
What we wish to do is to utter a protest 
in favor of this pitiful old blind man, 
ordered off Broadway, while from 40th 
up to 47th street both Broadway and 
the side streets are congested with the 
infernal sight-seeing trucKs and life made 
miserable by their insolent barkers. These 
gigantic wagons slow down traffic on 
the cross streets, and practically block 
the street-car service when they ply 
Broadway. They constantly and contem- 
ptuously violate the city ordinance which 
permits vehicles, outside parking space, 
only twenty minutes for loading and un- 
loading. Beyond any question the sight- 
seeing trucks are "fixed" with the police, 
for they are seldom molested and when 
they are, it is in the nature of a huge 
farce. 

"FREE VERSE POETRY" 

We have long inveighed against the 
gang of idiots, headed by that garrulous 
nonentity, Amy Lowell, and that other 
vacuous nit-wit, Carl Sandborg, who 
started the vers libre fad. Signs are 
not wanting the bile of the American 
public is beginning to rise against their 
tomfoolery. We are rejoiced to quote 
in part a scathing indictment from this 
month's issue of the Critic and Guide, 
written by its fearless and gifted editor, 
Wm. J. Robinson : 

"I have read recently some 'poems' 
from the pens of our young 'poets' 
My conviction is that these vers librists 
are (1) paranoiacs (2) victims of de- 
mentia praceox (3) just plain dam- 
fools (4) charlatans hungry for notor- 
iety, or (5) fellows trying to have 
some fun at the expense of the pub- 
lishers and the public. I can scarcely 
conceive the degree of imbccilic stupid- 
ity to which writing can descend. Just 
cacophonous gibberish of idle idiots 
who ought to be put on the job of 
cleaning the streets or — in the case of 
the gentler sex — washing dishes. 

I am a caterpillar 

I will crawl on you 

You will crush me 

I will crawl still higher. 

A specimen of modern poetry. It is 
the entire poem. And I have seen worse. 
Oh, ye shades of Shelley, Keats, Tenny- 
son, Goethe, Schiller, Heine, Moliere. 
Is poetry dead — or is it dead only in 
the United States of America." 



Recent announcement of the nuptials 
of a young nabob of Wall as well as 
Murray Hill, sets in more acute paradox 
than ever his romance of about a year 
and a half ago with one of the long- 
legged, dancing moths of Broadway. It 
all wouldn't be so embarrassing had this 
romance not flowered and fruited in a 
young copy of the ardent lovers, the 
toddler now being, let's guess, a year 
old and proudly paraded by its fond 
mumma in all the high places of the 
town. Babykins, of course, has no name, 
wherein occurs the rub. It is said that 
fond mumma could, at one time, have 
extended her lily fingers and closed them 
tightly around a roll totalling two hun- 
dred and fifty thousand shekels, but, as 
in many similar situations, while Barkis 
daughter was willin', her sweet mamma 
held out for a more handsome settle- 
ment. And held out so long and so 
vehemently that, suddenly, the offer was 
withdrawn, and not a sou marquee could 
be pried loose. On the publication of 
papa's nuptials 'tis said that the long- 
legged one was for blood and vengeance 
in the public prints, threatening entire 
front pages in one fell volley. For some 
reason or other — very likely the utter 
weariness of the city editors with this 
stale scandal — not a shot has been heard. 
What the eventuation of the affair will 
be, however, not even the sagest Broad- 
way weather bureau forecaster feels 
competent to predict. 

* * * 

Is it true the "original" Dixie has lost 
her "original" sweetie? Now, what do 
you think ever could have happened ? 

* * * 

Will some kind soul tell us what has 
become of Bennie Friedlander. author of 
"Ten Nights in a Bathroom?" 

* * * 

Who is the Broadway manager who 
kicked in a "grand" to put the clutches 
on a certain little chorus girl who felt 
she had a good case for the Society for 
the Prevention of Indoor Athletics? 

* * * 

In the absence of anything of impor- 
tance to communicate we might bleat that 
Zazu Pitts is returning to the screen in 
"Country Love" with Metro. Zazu is 
in private life Mrs. Tom Gallery, and 
it was on the occasion of these two names 
being printed at the nuptials that we 
threw a cat fit. 

* * * 

Fania Marinoff dies in the first act of 
"The Charlatan." Why can't they ar- 
range to have this happen before the 
curtain goes up? 



Broadway Brevities 7 



Josephine Harmon, who was said at 
one time to have modelled for the archi- 
tects of the Singer Building, turns up 
again recently in some suit or other, hav- 
ing to do with an act she contracted for 
and didn't get. Judging by the last act 
we saw "Joe" in we should say she needs 
a new- act and then ought to sublet it to 

someone to play it. 

* * * 

Grammatical gems culled from a re- 
cent Johnny Wanamaker "editorial"; 
"Stir and Bustle is Not Always an Ac- 
complishment." And "It must irradiate 
cheerfulness, etc." And, "A customer 
writes us today this." And what Johnny 
says the customer writes: "We like your 
store because it is apart from all other 
known to us." A schoolboy who would 
perpetrate this sort of Chink English 
would get flogged out of a year's growth. 

* * * 

It's a little late to talk about it, but 
never too late when it's your old play- 
mate, Harry Fink, who is involved. We 
remember Harry from the time of the 
old Tokio on 45th street, and his stirring 
renditions in the early a.m.'s of his song, 
"The Curse of an Aching Heart." That 
ballad was worse than an aching tooth, 
but we recall one night we heard Harry 
inflict it on the Mayor of New York. It 
was Harry's masterpiece, and maybe it 
made him what he is today. For you 
may have heard of the aching heart of 
his wife, Mrs. Ida Fink, who recently 
filed suit for separation in the Supreme 
Court. In the papers Ida includes many 
pleasing reminiscences of Harry's re- 
gency in the Tokio. alleging that he paid 
entirely too much attention to a wren 
named Mrs. Ethel Appel. This sounds 
suspiciously like a misnomer for Mrs. 
Ethel Attcl, ex-wife of Abe Attel, who 
we saw in the Tokio on each of our 
frequent visits. However that may be, 
when Harry hiked to Brooklyn, after the 
collapse of the Tokio, to open the Ritz 
there. Ethel was supplanted by a dame 
known as Gertrude Bennett, on whom 
were bestowed by the ferniggling Fink 
a lot of costly gifts. It seems that Harry 
resembles the sailor with a sweetheart in 
every port, for no sooner had he shifted 
again from the Ritz to the Shelburne at 
Brighton Beach than he went into the 
old hat and brought out a new skirt 
called Florence Hutchinson. Wifie Ida 
might have tolerated all this a bit longer 
had not Harry, per the blue prints, taken 
to blacking her eves. She then sang a 
little aching eye lyric for the Supreme 
Court bench that will nrobably prove 
more effective than Harry's original 



composition. And if you hunted through 
all of Greater New York you probably 
wouldn't find a soul to sympathize with 
the Faithless Fink. 

* * * 

It looks as though the jinx is put on 
a show the minute Dixie Hines becomes 
press-agent for it. First there was 
"Montmartre," then the "Pin Wheel" 
both of mournful memory. Of course 
if you know Dixie and his general opera- 
tion as "Personal Representative" it's 
all as clear as mud. 

* * * 

Not many of those who think that 
Fannie Brice is a world-beating comic 
know that Fannie's hand is turned to 
commercial as well as footlight activ- 
ities. For Fannie, under the trade name 
of Lotta & Brice, operates a millinery 
shop in the Fifties. Those not in the 
know who visit the shop are impressed 
with the Jap-like personality of "Lotta," 
a diminutive specimen of femininity, who 
seems to be the whole works. But as 
a matter of fact Lotta is said to be 
simply a little Jewish maiden from 
Chicago. And the story runs that Fannie 
got acquainted with her through visits 
to a modiste shop in the windy burg, and 
eventually imported her, with the result 
that the firm of Lotta & Brice came 
into existence. And Lotta is said to have 
made a lotta hay while Fannie was shin- 
ing, for it is common gossip about the 
fine old elderly gent with a roll the size 
of the Maurctania who has been for 
several years a devoted admirer of Lotta. 
There's something awfully comical about 
the whole thing, and yet we can't say 
exactly what it is. 

* * * 

Rosa Ponselle, the celebrated off-key 
diva of the Metropolitan forces, seems 
fated to live in an atmosphere of homi- 
cides and police courts. Some years ago, 
it is said, while Rosa was singing in a 
New Haven cabaret, an admirer of hers 
named Garison was shot in Rosa's pres- 
ence under the most mystifying circum- 
stances. As a matter of fact we are 
in possession of facts furnished by a 
gentleman living in New Haven at the 
time that throw a startling light on the 
affair, but we are not in a position to 
give them to the public. Be that as it 
may. a few months ago, on the occasion 
of Rosa's birthday party at her home 
on the Drive, an Italian couple who were 
among the guests became involved in an 
affray that landed them later in the 
Police Station. On top of this, about 
two weeks ago. Rosa's uncle, Alphonse 
Ponzillo, shot and killed his son-in-law 



8 Broadway Brevities 



Salvatore Briguglia at the former's home 
in Waterbury. It begins to look as 
though the grand old Italian institution 
the vendetta was keeping close tab on 
Rosa's relatives and acquaintances. As 
for Rosa herself, although she jumped 
into the Metro from the two-a-day with 
a wild hurrah, her star has steadily de- 
clined, her appearances last season hav- 
ing been few and far between despite 
her terrific publicity "bug" and we prop- 
hesy that next season they will be fewer 
still. As a ma.tter of fact her junction 
with the Metropolitan forces was a howl- 
ing joke, for she is an incurably off- 
pitch contralto, and therefore totally un- 
fitted to appear with the great singers 
therein. How she ever jazzed herself 
in, and why she is still on the pay-roll, 
is one of those mysteries that would 
furnish a thrilling revealment. 

* * * 

WHAT THE LONDON DAILY MAIL 
THINKS OF U. S. "PROHIBITION" 

On the occasion of the recent re- 
arrival in England of that fanatical 
freak. Pussyfoot Johnson, the Daily Mail 
rose with the following deliverance : 

"In America five striking 
results appear to have been 
achieved by Prohibition, First, 
revenue of $500,000,000 lost; 
second, a great army of de- 
tectives and spies costing 
$50,000,000 yearly; third, the 
new profession of bootlegging, 
making an aggregate profit of 
$75,300,000,000; fourth, brew- 
ing, distilling and winemaking 
undertaken privately in hun- 
dreds of thousands of Ameri- 
can homes; fifth, every known 
alcoholic beverage can be ob- 
tained in every American city, 
and nine-tenths of the towns, 
at prices ranging from twice 
to ten times that of pre-pro- 
hibition days. This state of 
affairs may suit the United 
States. Mr. Pussyfoot will, 
with difficulty, persuade us to 
pay his country the compli- 
ment of imitation." 

* * * 

Sincerely apologizing for this fresh 
inroad on your vitality, we might report 
that Billy Dove (now where did we 
hear that name before?) announces the 



color scheme of an actress's clothes af- 
fects her performance on the screen. Of 
course the press-agent dug this up for 
Billy, but in any case, being confined 
solely to actresses, why should Billy 
have any fear? 

* * * 

"Man Fined $25.00 For Driving With 
Arm Around Young Woman" — Nezvs 
Item. But think what it probably cost 
to get the arm around! 

"GIRL HE WINED AND DINED 
HELPS WIFE TO FREEDOM" 

That heading in the Daily Neivs pre- 
faces a story that will surge the bile of 
every regular human being, male or fe- 
male. Floyd J. Coney of the Bronx, 
wedded gazink, fell soft for the bright 
young charms of Miriam Davis. Miriam, 
the dear, was a close friend of Mrs. 
Coney all the time. You'd think, after 
leading poor Floyd into her toils, that 
this female simp would have stood by 
him through thick and thin. However, 
her perfidy was disclosed when Mrs. 
Coney accused Floyd of ferniggling, and 
Floyd — true to the tried formula under 
such conditions — expressed simulated 
disgust with Miriam. When Miriam 
heard of this what does the damn fool 
do but ups and blows the whole roast 
in court to Justice Tompkins who there- 
upon granted a decree. She confessed 
she had been doing the cabaret, dance- 
hall and road-house circuit with Floyd, 
including of course all the trimmings. 
You'd think she thought enough of 
Floyd, and would be sufficiently in dread 
of the old lady, to keep her mouth shut. 
No, me boys, she didn't and wasn't — 
and to this Judas-like wren we hereby 
award the hand-tinted bottle of Citrate 
of Magnesia. 

* * * 

Just when we thought Mildred Soper 
was lost for good, along comes a press- 
sheet stating that she is to pose for a 
series of paintings by Everett-Shinn. 
We suppose you could term this Mildred's 
shin-digs. 

* * * 

Goldwyn's news letter reports that 
Colleen Moore is "an authority on beds." 
Says Collie can spot a good bed the 
minute she sees it, from the springs right 
up to the counterpane. Is it possible 
Collie was once a chambermaid? 

* * * 

Not meaning to tantalise you further, 
yet we must announce that Phyllis Haver 
— whose long legs we are sick of looking 
at — is going to jump out of bathing suits 
to act a role in "The Christian." Phyllis 
annoys us terribly, but may be a nice 
girl at that, if only one knew her. 



Broadway Brevities 9 



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BETTY J E W E L 

Ohc o/ //)f »«e beauties of the screen world, 'who shows great promise 
after a comparatively short career on the silver sheet. Miss jewel, fallow- 
ing her debut in the great Griffith feature, "Orphans of the Storm." is now 
engaged on a new picture. By even the most casual inspection of the photo 
above you can easily conclude that she is not only renowned for her beauty, 
but also appears to have every endowment for a striking success in the 
silent drama. Personally captivating, those -who know her think that her 
sweet nature reflects her name. Betty is a real "find" and we feel con- 
fident the electric lights will some day spell her name. Note, wouldn't you 
wish Betty all that, and then some more? 



10 Broadzcay Brevities 



It's the Snake's 
Legs Around 
Times Square 




Wasn't it a surprise for a certain young damsel to learn that Oscar Shaw's 
familv name was Schwartz? And after admiring those beautiful white molars? 

■7 



Is it true that Wally Reis is once again making pictures? 
the inside story? 



And just what was 



'Tis pleasant to see Owen Murphy coming to front again as one of our cleverest 
lyric writers, with his volatile contributions to "Spice of 1922." How different from 
the "Gus Edwards Rehearsals of 1920." The cry of "Panic, Panic" now makes 
way for "Success, Success !" 

7 

Where, oh where, is Flo Mathews, the Belle of Beantown I It's been several 
years since she graced the light way, squired by the dignified Democratic politician. 
We shouldn't wonder if Flo hasn't settled down, gotten herself happily married 
and thoroughly domesticated. So many do! 

Helen Lambert, that perennial flower of the Pacific, is back once more in our 
midst, having just returned from a pleasant visit to Atlantic City. Helen is such 
a good dancer, it seems a shame that she doesn't get herself a good partner and grab 
off some of that soft money that is being paid some of those classy dancing teams 
along the Great Drv Wav. 

? 

Have the little Perry Sisters — Peggy and Maizie — told you yet how artistically 
they got the 'air' one evening by two regular boys that they thought were just small 
town saps? Aren't the two little flappers dizzy yet? 

1 

With Van & Schenck headlining at the Palace, it does seem a far cry from 
the lowly roles of conductor and motorinan for the B. R. T.? However, if that 
good old railroad continues to raise wages they may hope some day to get the two 
clever bovs back. 

? 

It is reported on high authority the recent reports regarding the reconciliation 
of Lou Tellegen and the fair Geraldine, were without foundation, and that all gossip 
relating to the smoothing out of the domestic ripples were manufactured out of 
whole cloth. Reports has it that neither of the principals has changed temperamen- 
tally to any degree, and therefore the case is statu quo as it has been these many 
months. Is there any news of the French lady who palled with Gerry? 

? 

Occasionally there flashes across the firmament a clever girl with brains and a 
natural sense of humor. Such a one, we would say. is Anna May Gift, whose brand 
of subtle and spontaneous humor bids fair, if developed, to rival that of Florence 
Moore. Can you imagine a more clever remark, in the midst of a deadly and tire- 
some dinner party, than. "Throw back your moustache, and give us a kiss," thrown 
at a high-brow intellectual by the clever Anna May. That would certainly make 
many a walrus discard his soup-strainers. 

7 

The dashing Fddie Mathews is seen about quite a bit squiring Sally Fields. 
We wonder if she was cavorting with him at Long Beach the other Sunday, as we 
couldn't catch a glimpse of her Grecian profile. 



What a laugh to see Lou Holtz drumming up trade for his new "Side Show" 
among the tablc-d'hoters at Castles-by-the Sea. Better not let Gil catch you. Lou! 



Broadivay Brevities 11 

Why did the clever young newspaper man nickname Bernice Elmore, "Bunnie 
the Dunce?" And hasn't he regretted the pseudonym since? 

? 

Tis reported that Agnes Dunne, — none other than Conky's old partner — and the 
former wife of Bruce Bethel — has done the matrimonial flip-flop again. And cer- 
tainly with none other than Phil Elliott, the English boy with the Titian locks who 
for many months was seen about with Conky during the latter's bachelorhood. 

1 

Are there any more paving blocks being thrown at Arthur Lyons, now that he 
is a full-fledged theatrical promoter-producer-manager? 

? 

What a charming couple Syd Hydeman and his little wife do make on the sands 
of Long Beach, while parading up and down fondling their little pet marmoset. Sid 
made quite a hit on the beach the Sunday Frank Tinney gave his circus down there. 
Everyone thought Sid with his little pet was one of the wild animal trainers specially 
imported for that night's tent show. 

? 

We wonder whether Flo Lewis is going to be the featured star with the new 
Herman Timberg unit on the Shubert vaudeville circuit next season. She would 
certainly make a sweet little leading lady. 

? 

Too bad that the happy home on 92nd street was broken up, isn't it Flo Henry? 
We had planned many a friendly visit, but could never get around to it. However, 
now that you are at Murray's, it will be more convenient to drop in some afternoon 
for tea. Right? 

AMERICA'S HEROINE 

Nellie Revell, now three years prone on a cot in St. Vincent's Hospital, with 
an obscure spinal affliction, is America's outstanding heroine. Something truly 
Spartan must reside in the mind and soul of one still optimistic after three years 
of what, to most of us, would be inconceivable torture. There's more than that 
about it. however. Cut off from physical movement and from all of the outside 
world except that loving part which crowds to her little room, she has fallen back 
upon the resources of her mind. And not upon the same mind that functioned over 
her former activities. But upon a mind made marvelously acute and inventive by 
suffering. No more proof of this is needed than her "Bedside Chats" which have 
been running in Variety for almost a year. No keener wit, more penetrating 
analysis and scintillating epigram are being written elsewhere today. We think it 
will be a new Nellie Revell who will come back to Broadway, and that it will be 
the publishers and not the actors will wait at her door. 



On Our Cover: MAE WEST 

She's still most engagingly young, but we do remember Miss West's 
former feats in the varieties at the time when she was in the throes of the 
shimmey epidemic, and did her palpitations in a manner that was the ruin 
of many a Presbyterian divine. Especially do we recall her work at the 
Capitol, not long after it opened. Miss West is now in a middle phase 
of subtler artistry, still inflected by the shiver but adorned with much 
remarkable dramatic exhibition. Recently at the Palace, she accomplished 
an unbroken triumph, doing her act in protean role, now a "laugh vamp," 
now a prima donna, comical and serious by turns. In short Miss West 
was a fine and consummate surprise, with a finesse and versatility, a dashing 
vitality and sure authority that ought to send the legitimate managers 
trailing her holding contracts in their hands ready to be autographed by 
her on the dotted line. By looking at her most fetching pose on our cover, 
you will admit that Mae is no company for a nervous person. 



12 Broadway Brevities 



Three Cheers for "Youtho" and 

'The Secret of the Desert" 

E. Virgil Neal, Colossus of Quackery, Springs Two New Ones 



They do say that, for months, good old NUXATED IRON, fathered 
by that Prince of Quackery, E. Virgil Neal, has been on its last legs. 

You no doubt recall, in our last issue, the inside story dealing with 
this nostrum and with the career of Neal, put out of business by the 
Federal authorities on many occasions in the past fifteen years on account 
of his fake operations. For a long time this quack masqueraded under 
the alias of X. La Motte Sage. But it seems that his genius for quackery 
is equalled only by his genius for duplicity, for he escaped from every one 
of his unlawful enterprises with no more than the punishment of a Fraud 
Order or a fine. Crafty as a fox, advancing years probably told him that 
only in the higher and more subtly refined phases of hokum lay safety, 
and so we find him, in or about 1914, engaged in a new and apparently 
ethical adventure. This was NUXATED IRON, on which for seven 
long years he has poured the largess of his advertising resources and 
bedecked with the flower of his matured, inventive cunning. The Amer- 
ican Medical Association, of course, has declared again and again that 
NUXATED IRON is worse than worthless but Xeal's profits from 
its sale to a gullible public have, beyond doubt, run into the millions. 

As we said at the beginning, good old NUXATED is now reported 
to be on its last legs. When we saw, a few weeks ago, the brazen and 
unethical action of the Liggett Drug Co. in placing its imprint over a 
"bargain" offer on Nuxated we suspected the worst. On that thrilling 
occasion we wrote to the head office of the Liggett Co. and asked them 
their reason for endorsing a preparation denounced by the American 
Medical Association. They finally made a lame and somewhat apologetic 
reply, stating that this had occurred through an error. In any case the 
Liggett endorsement abruptly ceased. 

With all these factors loudly forecasting the "finish" of NUXATED 
one's mind naturally reverts to the tall, neurasthenic, bespectacled Xeal 
in his eyrie at 11 East 36th. and the interrogation arises: "Won't he 
presently be on the job with a new nostrum?" For NUXATED doubt- 
less will soon be reverently laid away beside the moss-covered graves of 
"Tokalon," "Xeal's Biscuit," "Yitaopathy," "Olivefoam" and the count- 
less other creations of Neal's restless fakery. 

Well, it's the funniest thing — one day as we lounged in our editorial 
chair taking the final pulls from a fine old bottle of Green Stripe, the 
telephone rang and someone at the other end told us all about Xeal's 
NEW "preparations!" 

(Continued on Page 14) 



Broadway Brevities 13 




BERENICE ELMORE 

(Photo by Tornello) 

Having recently been acclaimed the most beautiful fashion 
photographers' model in America, this vivacious young Connecticut 
society girl icill probably be one of the scintillating attractions 
in the nczv "Greenwich Village Follies." 



14 Broadway Brevities 

Dear readers, female and male, those of you with corns and those 
of you with wrinkles, be of good cheer! Your deliverance is near at 
hand. For brother Neal, we are credibly informed, will soon be to the 
fore with TWO fresh concoctions, one for your corns and the other for 
your wrinkles. In fact one of the two might fitly be described as Neal's 
New Wrinkle. 

And as a cold matter of icy fact, Neal has already fired the first shot 
at your aching toes ! For the Daily Neivs ( that growing haven of patent 
nostrums) tucked away in 6-inch, single column space in its Sunday issue 
of Jul}' 9, a fascinating announcement of 

GYPSY FOOT RELIEF 

A Secret from the Desert 

Nothing in or at the foot of the ad. gives intimation of the proprietor- 
ship otjjPGypsy Foot '•Relief ." You are told to apply for it at certain drug- 
stores named, among them our old playmates, the Liggett Co., who seem 
to have, by all we can hear, a cynical attitude towards the buying public 
you might suppose they would be anxious to protect. 

This is, of course, only the "opening gun" on "The Secret of the 
Desert." No doubt, a little later, we shall hear from Neal's irresponsible 
advertising bureau that some Bedouin or other, with bad feet from doing 
too much walking on the Sahara, was taken off into a corner by one of 
Neal's scouts and teased into parting from his secret formula for making 
sore "dogs" as good as new Wait and see! 

Well, so much for that. Listen closely while we tell about the "other" 
mixture that your old pal has almost ready for you. 

It's something with a punch, exceeding all past performances of 
hokum's master-mind. It's going to hit you right between the eyes, on 
the solar plexus, and also flat on the jaw. 

Should our information be accurate — and we have no reason to doubt 
it — Neal is about to crown his career with an elixir that will put Ponce 
de Leon in the scrap-heap, make old rounders cut up like a colt in a 
pasture, wipe Professor Metchnikofif off the historical map and delete 
Bishop Butler's Tar Water — guaranteed, as Macaulay says, to "make 
old rakes young again" — from the annals of English medicine. 

For — hold your sides a minute! — Neal will soon begin publicity on 

YOUTHO 

the foe and Nemesis of senesence! With "Youtho" within reach, old 
age is to become a laugh. One bottle of this preparation, and Johnny 
Hoagland, Dave Lamar and Arthur Hammerstein would start spinning 
tops on the floor or licking candy sticks! One bottle, and elderly liis- 
trioncs such as Norah Bayes, Eve Tanguay and Grace LaRue would start 
putting ribbon bow-knots on their back hair or making mud-puddles on 
Times Square ! Senility will be abolished as soon as Liggett's get 
"Youtho" stacked on their shelves. 

By gurry! can you beat this bird? And he gets away with it! 



Broadway Brevities 15 

There's just one thing we're curious about. As related in our July 
article, Xeal has been taking treatments from a chiropractor for a long 
period. Totally disregarding NuXATED — that dynamo of punch and 

WILL XEAL TRY "VOUTHO?" 

All we can say is that WE are going to try "Youtho" — thoroughly. 
But not by dosage. We are going to "try it out." in another way. We 
are going to try to discover whether there is really ANY available means 
of protection for a. credulous public. And whether E. Virgil Xeal can. 
with impunity, continue to unload his preposterous nostrums unchecked. 



ANTE-MORTEM STATEMENTS 
"Watch me tickle his hind foot — that rrnilc can't kick" 
"Bctcha I can lean two feet farther out of the window than you" 
"It isn't loaded, and I'll prove it to you" 
"Tilt the canoe a little more — it can't Upset" 

"Watch me go out in the undertow and make the life-saver jealous" 
"Let me sit by the window — lightnin' can't touch this kid" 
"Let's have the wheel, and I'll show you how to round that corner" 
"Sure. I'll sleep like a top after the cucumbers and milk" 
"Listen to me call him a 'wop' while he's shavin' me" 
"Watch me hold this mouthful of tacks and drink while I'm doin' it" 
"Give her the gas — the drawbridge is closed" 
"Dangerous? You're crazy — see me kick that third rail" 
"The stuff's all right — give me the first drink" 
"Just for a joke I'll ride down in the dumb waiter." 




16 Broadway Brevities 



J'/JtJMl 




Tliev do sav there*s over $60,000 posted on the board at the Lambs. 

* * * 

"Hurry and get it, lady." piped the conductor on a crowded Fiftli avenue bus — 

"don't vou see that gentleman has just evacuated his seat?" 

* * * 

There's many a slip 'twixt the hip and the lip ! 

* * * 

"Drink to me only with thine ice" cooed the iceman's sweetie. 

* * * 

Said Harry : "My card at the club's running out but 1 can easily get it ex- 
tenuated." 

* * * 

A very good story bobs up far in the wake of that Equity Benefit at the Metro- 
politan. It seems John Charles Thomas, a well known ten minute egg, had been 
asked to appear, and one of the polite conditions was that he should render popular 
airs. Johnny wasn't agreeable to that, and wired the committee, "Pagliacci or 
nothing." They finally wired back: "All right, nothing." 

* * * 

It never rains but someone pours. 

* * * 

NEGLECTED CORRECTION 

In our May issue we stated it was rumored that Julia Sanderson had had a 
"face lifting." Julia mailed us shortly thereafter her card with the following in- 
dignation written on it : "Report is discredited by those who have opportunity to 
make intimate investigation." . . . Don't you love that "intimate investigation?" 
Sorry, Julia, but younger wrens than thee are doin' it! 

OUR NEW ADVERTISING SLOGANS 

(Tendered Gratis to the $16.00 Per Advtg. Hacks) 

TRY OUR BOOLAX ONCE AND YOU'LL NEVER TRY ANY 
OTHER. 

OUR CLOTHES ARE ALL READY TO WEAR OUT. 

YOU CAN'T GET STUNG ON ONE OF OUR MATTRESSES. 

TAKE OUR SOAP TO THE TRACK AND CLEAN UP. 

WE STAND BEHIND EVERY BED WE SELL. 

USE OUR GLUE FOR THAT STICKY FEELING. 

MOTHERS-IN-LAW NEVER COME BACK WHEN CAMPBELL 

BURIES 'EM. 
WEAR O'SULLIVANS AND YOU'LL BE WELL-HEELED. 
OUR BUNS HAVE A REAL KICK. 
GET PICKLED ON OUR HERRING. 
OUR EX-LUX PUTS PEP IN TIRED FEET. 
ASK DAD— IF HE'S SOBER HE KNOWS. 
HAVE YOU A LITTLE FAIRY IN YOUR CAST? 
THE SKINS YOU LOVE TO TOUCH. 



Broad'wav Brevities 17 




SYLVIA FIELD 

This accomplished girl, now leading lady of "The Cat and the Canary" at National 
Theatre, one of the hits of the season, has had. despite her apparent youthf illness, 
a distinguished series of roles. She made her debut three years ago in one of the 
leading parts of "The Betrothal." next appearing in "Thunder" and later adorning 
"Turn to the Right." Afterwards Miss Field played stock in Canada. Her biggest 
success antedating her present role was in "Welcome Stranger." a notable dramatic 
triumph. Miss fields' work in "The Cat and the Canary" has elicited the plaudits 
of the critics, and makes each night's audience in love with her girlish sweetness. 



ALEXANDER 


OUMANSKY 


STUDIO - 110 \\ 


est 47th Street 


Telephone 


Bkyant 9339 


Ballet Master 




Capitol Theatre 




N. - Y. - C. 





Who is it Jack Duffy means when he 
croons, "My Girl ?" 

* * * 

What's the big news on "Dash Inn ?" 
A certain midnight show seems to make 
the place a rendezvous. 

* * * 

Whose apartment is known as "Chateau 
Delayem," and who gave it that name? 

* * * 

Isn't Helen O'Brien's song. "Grieving 
For You" rather old ? What say. Helen ? 

* * * 

Who is it makes you sicker than any- 
one else on earth? Answer — all together 
— "That hideous pest, Babe Ruth !" 



18 Broadway Brevities 




"I Love Every Ache 
In My Body/' 
Wrote B. H. 



STORY OF THE INFATUATED 
DIVA 

This entrancing and highly exclusive 
tale is all ahout a little lady, living 
sweetly with her hubby on Central Park 
West. The little lady is that somewhat 
curious organism, a concert, or if you 
like it better, opera diva, and is soon to 
hurl her cantilena proscenium-ward in 
a new musical comedy to make its debut 
on Broadway, built especially for her. 
(We mean the show, not Broadway.) 
Well, like most songbirds of the female 
gender she possesses a romantic nature. 
Hubby is a nice, quiet, conventional 
business man. and while he supplies the 
wads of kale necessary to keep the ice- 
box well stocked and the landlord cordial, 
he is probably deficient in those other 
most vital amorous properties without 
which no fair or even ugly lady can 
long be intrigued. We say probably 
deficient, for we know of no other reason 
that would send Mile. Soprano cooing 
towards a certain pluggy, grizzled and 
middle-age actor, once with an enormous 
flair on Broadway, who. to make it still 
more in-trik-atc. possesses a cunning 
little matrimonial trick of his own. Well, 
to get back to the dirty work, our fair 
diva, in one of those attacks of dementia 
that affect the most cautious intriguante, 
started writing love-notes to Mr. Actor, 
some of these heated epistles taking form 
and substance in the far west. The 
French maxim. "Never write a letter and 
never tear one up" was apparently tin- 
known to the diva, and the result of the 
whole shooting match is that our aged 
eyes, a week or two ago. had the interest- 
ing privilege of rolling through one of 
these amorous billet dou.v. the envelope, 



bearing no postmark, obviously delivered 
by messenger. And it is some letter for 
a perfectly good wedded lady to write ! 
One of the sentences reads : "Since last 
night I lore every ache in my body." 
And much more along the same line. 
In fact the contents of the missive, in 
toto, contain enough dynamite to blow 
up a couple of hundred hearth-stones, 
and any doubt as to the identity of the 
fair correspondent would be dispelled by 
the blue and gold monogram on the cor- 
ner of the sky-tinted stationery. If you 
will take the four letters, B.H.R.E. and 
shuffle them round at your own pleasure, 
who knows that they might not fall into 
proper position something in the style 
of the jumping capitals on the. curtain 
at the movies. Or you might leave them 
just as they are and derive satisfactory 
results. If you are deprived of the 
pleasure of further details in BREV- 
ITIES maybe it will be atoned for on 
the front pages of the Daily News or 
American some fine day soon. But should 
this fail, you will find full names and 
copy of the burning love-letter in our 
September issue. 

* * * 

Oh, and here's another bunk of gossip 
from the Goldwyn's. Claire Windsor's 
done gone and bobbed her blonde tresses. 
They were black in a recent picture with 
Milton Sills, but we suppose there was 
a reason for that. Everything was black 
for poor Milt in that movie, anyway. 

* * * 

If you'll spare our lives just a wee 
bit longer we'll gurgle another peachy 
bit of news. Helene Chadwick says 
when she has a hard weeping scene be- 
fore the camera she's gloomy the rest 
of the day. We remember being gloomy 
for two whole weeks after seeing Helene's 
work in a recent picture. 



Broadway Brevities 19 



DEATH IN LIFE 

Paul Simonetto, a Sing Sing inmate, 
was placed under the X-ray yesterday 
and found to have a deceased jawbone. 
— N. Y. Tribune. 

* * * 

Old John D. Rockefeller has just cele- 
brated, his 83d birthday. Think how 
much older he might be had he smoked 
and drank all his life! 

* * * 

Anything that will "make a dog laugh" 
is presumed to possess the quintesscense 
of risibility. Well, if this holds true, 
every bow-wow in America must be 
howling its head off at the present mo- 
ment. For the canine population must 
have heard of Flo Ziegfeld's diatribes 
against the marriage of Marilyn Miller 
and Jack Pickford. The unique Ziggy 
is all hct up about it. He says : "She 
could have picked a real man. She is 
taking awful chances." Wouldn't that 
puncture vour tin Lizzie? FLO ZIFG- 
FELD, Jr. rebuking sin! FLO ZIFG- 
FELD, Jr. boosting the moral sanctity 
of the American home! Let us laugh 
along with the dogs. Let us explode 
with the canines. Let Lily Lorraine in 
on the howls. We hold no brief for 
Jack Pickford, but we'll say this that if 
ever Jack had an opportunity to make 



himself popular, and to secure complete 
vindication of his record, is able to un- 
cork a good wallop and won't mind a 
ten dollar fine at 54th street — God has 
given him his chance! 

* * * 

Sir Harry Lauder is coming over in 
October for his 17th annual tour of the 

United States Item from N. Y. Times, 

July. 1940: "We hear that Sir Harry 
Lauder is coming over in October for 
his 35th annual tour of the United States. 
It is whispered that Madame Bernhardt 
sails on the same boat, and that the 
famous pair will be seen in a special 
production of "Hamlet" by Al. Woods. 
One of the novelties of the production 
(said to be Mr. Woods' own idea) is a 
bedroom scene. Mr. Woods' first return 
to boudoir specialties since he swore off 
four-posters eighteen years ago. The 
melancholy Dane will be played by Harry 
Weber on alternate nights." 

* * * 

Hurrah! Lucille Chalfante has a job. 
In the autumn — Greenwich Follies. Let's 
all hope she won't sing. 

* * * 

How doth Jimmy R. get along, muses 
"Bebe," since Hi B. hath migrated to 
Bosting? 



y^^^^^^/y-^;^ 




CAPITOL 



BROJIDWJiy a.t 51st STREET 

Worlds la,rgest,mostbcauVfu,I Motion'PicUwe.Tkl&ca 
^tr l:DWAI\DJ. 'BOWES, MzjiagingVircctor ^ 



he superior in pictures in conjunction with (lie 



CAPITOL GRAND ORpHESTRA 
Tlrno 9\apee, conductor 



ryy^^\ 



CAPITOL BALLET CORPS* 

Alexander Oumanshy, Ballet Master 
''Mile. QcMibarelli, 'Ballerina, 

T>oris Nilcs a.ncL Thadia, fenoLU. 
Soloi sts 



Presentations byS.LBPTHAFEL 



J ZY7 ///■/■/ /' 



20 Broadway Brevities 





"DIRTY DAVE" 

Further Tales of the Pink- Eyed Wolf 



/"\ UR old friend, "Dirty Dave" is a 
^"^ busy man. With our limited space 
we can, now and again, find room for 
a few of his exploits. He's making 
history so fast, however, each night that 
it would take a BREVITIES of 1,000 
pages per issue to report in detail his 
adventures in the half-world of dirty 
necks and synthetic throat tonic. This 
time we are able to allot a little extra 
space to the "Wolf," so as to sort of 
bring him up to date and if you care 
to read the rot, why, you're welcome as 
the furunculae in February ! 

Dave hath a wife. Oh, that's positive. 
Wific has been in these regions now for 
several months, making the hegira from 
her far-off New England home prin- 
cipally because she'd read all about her 
dear husband in BREVITIES — about the 
churches he was building, his donations 
to the Prohibition fund and his many 
acts of sweetness, refinement and genial- 
ity. Oh, my yes — she's here. 

Dave likes 'em rough and dirty, and 
has, in spite of wifie and the police courts, 
been holding up his end pretty well 
through the Winter, spring and early 
summer solstice. How he has escaped 
a busted coco or being held up with one 
of his carloads of kale, God only knows. 
His operations on the street, incidentally, 
arc said to have been more brilliant than 
ever, and it is no unusual thing for him 
to light his cigar with a "grand." Any 
time at all, a coat girl can depend on a 
twenty, while five orchestras are said to 
have retired to summer homes at Larch- 
mont on the 5 a.m. kick-ins of the Wolf. 



Dave had a funny experience in his 
hotel a few weeks ago. His chief boot- 
legger called; Dave and his wife an- 
swered the door. "Here's your order" 
said Bootie — "and by the way, Mr. L. 
would you mind slipping me for that 
bottle I delivered to Betty Hudson the 
other day?" That little break is said 
to have hung a new lavallierc on wine's 
throat. 

'Nother night, Dave was giving a gay 
party to a Judge — imagine it, a Judge! — 
at Club Maurice. Late in the festivities 
came a fight, Dave grabbed a bottle, 
it broke in his mitt — and he had to run 
up to the Adlon and have Doc. Klein 
take some stitches. 

But the best story of all — now told 
k.o. for the first time — is how Dave gave 
the air to his old girl, Betty Hudson. 
You remember that yarn in the papers 
about Dave's party in a 49th street 
restaurant, when he was charged with 
beaning a dame with a bottle. Present 
on this occasion were Dave and Betty 

and Johnny H and one of the 

numerous Taylor Sisters — also, of course, 
plenty "Old" Taylor. Well, the Taylor 
doll, it seems, was making up a bit to 
Dave, and Helen got sore. Then came 
a free-for-all scrap, with the result that 
Dave threw Betty out of the party, and 
later picked up a bundle of herring called 
Jean Tyler, said to have been attired 
in a gingham dress, plus run-down 
heels. This charming little bit of fem- 
ininity is said to have kept Dave com- 
pany for one whole week thereafter. 



ALOIS MERKE— HAIR, SCALP AND BEAUTY TREATMENTS— 512 FIFTH AVENUE 






Broadzvay Brevities 21 




DORIS NILES 

Character dancer in the Capitol Theatre Ballet, zvherc her clever work has created 
a strong following in the tzco years there. Miss Miles zvas formerly with the Morgan 
Dancers. She is an artiste of distinction and still greater promise. 

WALTER KINGSLEY 

Boccaccio writing Sunday ads for the Decameron Sisters. Casanova 
strolling with Sappho in the Gardens of Esculapius at a Vestal Virgins' 
clinic. Sir John Suckling immortalising the little feet that peep in and 
out, but would cover them with Miller's pumps. Donned the Overalls 
heard round the World. Laureate of Hebe and of Helen, the Central 
Sun in whose amorous rays butterflies stagger to the Footlight Zenith. 
Catapulted from the keys of his Underwood a thousand skirted Nit-Wits 
have tasted the ether of Stardom. Deifier of Beauty and Intellect, yet 
his Greek-like swings into space leaving them yelling for Flat-Parties and 
Roseland. Owner of the world's most annotated Red Book his telephone 
contract, on a direct line, would be 300,000 messages a year, overplussed 
by the incoming. Hid in Freudian inscrutability behind his horn-rimmed, 
only a bland and Presbyterian naivete exudes. Wasting and scattering 
extraordinary powers on the unsoaped ephemerae of the foots. Deadly 
disability : Ducking for his Dobbs after your stay is two-minutes long — 
and sometimes you don't go back. 

ALOIS MERKE— AMERICA'S LEADING HAIR AND BEAUTY EXPERT— 512 FIFTH AVE. 



22 Broadway Brevities 




J. C. BONNER TO HAVE HIS OWN 
HOTEL 

The many friends of J. C. Bonner will 
be pleased to know that he will open a 
new hotel in Philadelphia, next March, 
under his personal direction, to be called 
the Sylvania. Mr. Bonner will be re- 
membered as the former manager of the 
Ritz in Philly, and at present assistant 
manager of the Ritz in Atlantic City. 
He is known as one of the foremost, 
most competent and affable hotel direc- 
tors in the country. 



* * * 



Man fainted dead away yesterday while 
reading a newspaper. It was found he 
had run across a picture of society 
women, none of whom had her legs 
crossed and her skirt several inches above 
her knees. 

MR. ROTHAFEL RISES TO 
REMARK 

S. L. Rothafel, the Edison of the mov- 
ing picture, made a spirited address not 
long since at the convention of the 
Society of Motion Picture Engineers. 
The great expert of "Presentations" at 
the Capitol said some notable things, 
among them being that in ten years as 
an artistic production the screen will 
rival grand opera, that it will become 
the greatest educational force in the 
whole world. Mr. Rothafel made the 
interesting prophecy that the moving pic- 
ture house of the future will be without 
stage, balcony or boxes, egg-shaped, and 
will accommodate perhaps 5,000 persons 
at one time. 

* * * 

That heading the other day, "Two 
Girls Dying Side By Side In Bcllcvue," 
illuminated in striking fashion the pitiful 
side of the great city. An old song told 
of "the city of sighs and tears," and 
but too true it is that, hid behind the gay 
human panorama of the bright lights of 
Broadway, moves another world with 
broken hopes and hearts for its portion. 
Yet you could scarcely believe this other 
world exists while you stand by the doors 
of the theatres and cabarets and note 



the gay thousands going in and out, or 
pause for a half hour to watch Broad- 
way's merry river run down to its nightly 
sea of abandon. But there on the two 
cots in Bellevue lay Anna Duane. a 19 
year old performer, and Margaret 
Bulkley not yet twenty-five, washed up 
out of the eddying tides of the city. 
Both had swallowed bichloride and both 
still wanted to die. You will know ere 
this appears in print whether they died 
or lived. The point is the moral — and 
that a vast one. Behind the tragedy al- 
most always the Man, sometimes to 
blame and sometimes not, but — the Man. 
The little moths, young and old, have a 
sure doom set. Whether they dig for 
gold, or sacrifice for love, — a sure doom. 
How good it would be if they might 
have burnt in their brain, as with vitriol, 
that word "BEWARE! For the wages 
of sin is death, and no hectic Broadway 
and no country lane can dodge it. 

* * * 

Carroll McComas used to irritate us 
terribly when she appeared on the local 
stage, and our bosom bulges with satis- 
fied sighs to learn that she has been given 
by God in marriage. One of Carroll's 
feats was whistling, but she never could 
whistle hard enough to keep our courage 
up. Carroll was a heavy burden. And 
Carroll's no chick any longer. 

* * * 

The Earl Carroll Funeral Theatre, 
after having successfully interred "Bavu." 
Mrs. Woodruff, and "The Pin Wheel" 
in unbroken succession, decided a couple 
of weeks ago to penetrate the black belt. 
So they gave the air to Dixie Hincs, the 
"Pin Wheel's" well known undertaker 
(also mortician in charge on the de- 
ceased "Montmartre") and opened the 
wings for "Strut Miss Lizzie" a chocolate 
adumbration imported from the Times 
Square. We are writing this item on 
the 11th day of July. We go to press 
on the 19th. Will the compo please space 
three lines at the foot of this item for 
another probable funeral notice. 



MAGICAL QUARTZ RAY METHOD FOR HAIR— MERKE, 512 FIFTH AVENUE 



Broadway Brevities 23 



"SOUR GRAPES" FOR THE HUS- 
BAND OF BILLY BURKE! 

Kvcry regular man and all sympathetic 
womankind in New York must surely 
regard with amazement and disgust the 
attempts of Flo Ziegfeld to inject his 
"sour grapes" into the wedding plans of 
that brilliant actress and sweet girl, 
Marillyn Miller. Indeed you could 
hardly believe.- even knowing "Flo," that 
he would descend to the depths of de- 
spicability he has done. On another page 
we have recommended to Jack Pickford 
this one grand chance of his life — if he 
has any steam in bis right fist — -to re- 
habilitate himself (admitting that were 
needed ) in the good graces of his coun- 
trymen. Americans have always stood 
for fair play, and. where a woman is 
concerned, for the extreme of justice, 
respect and decency. Of these tilings 
Flo Ziegfeld apparently knows nothing. 
Mrs. Pickford, in more than one inter- 
view, has hinted at "sour grapes," and 
those Broadwayites familiar with the 
inner workings of the New Amsterdam 
Theatre building arc not unaware that, 
ever since the death of her young hus- 
band Frank Carter, Miss Miller has had 
many and extended attentions lavished 
on her by "Flo." It was at Christmas, 
a year back, that be is said to have pre- 
sented her with an exquisite Oriental 
vase, costing into the thousands. To 
her credit, be it said. Miss Miller has 
never shown the faintest intimation of 
more than a business interest in "Flo." 
and her final decision to marry Pickford 
has evidently stirred all the bile lying 
below "Flo's" blue sport collar. There 
can be no question that Rroadwav is for 
Marillyn and Jack and hot against the 
Czar of the "Follies" who has pulled a 
bloomer that will prove one of the big- 
gest boomerangs of his long and check- 
ered career. 

* * * 

Marillyn Miller withdrew from the 
"Sally" at Colonial. Boston, on the 15th. 
to take a well-earned vacation. 

* * * 

Was the mysterious "gentleman" in 
apartment 82 at the Grenoble, really the 
husband? And was that "gentleman" 
really such a shadow boxer and razor 
swallower as claimed? 

* * * 

Soon to be published by song-sharps 
Goodman & Rose will be "Since I Lost 
and Found You on Broadway" from the 
pen of Artie Leeming of "Spice of 1922." 
whose photograph appears in this issue. 





r 







ARTIE LEEMING 
featured as a specialty dancer in 
"Spice of 1922" with great suc- 
cess, will be one of the numerous 
stars of the coming "Passing Show 
of 1922." Artie 'was in "Hitchy- 
Koo" and in Lew Fields' "Lonely 



Rot 



as the rube comic and in 



other notable productions. A boy, 
as thev saw that "will bear watch- 
ing." 



FAMOUS BROADWAY PROFESSIONALS SEEN AT MERKE'S FOR HAIR TREATMENT 



24 Broadivay Brevities 



wwHp 




Revealing 

FRANKIE CAMPBELL 

at the lender age of two 
years, pushing what appears 
to be a toy coffin, thus show- 
ing his early predilections for 
the various phenomena of 
death, embalming, planting 
and "arrangements." 



TTT 



Intimate Story of the Rise of 

Caesar Campbell and the Rise, 

Decline and Fall of Cassius Baer 



—ii— 



By ARTHUR BRIGHAM ROSE 

(Continued from July Issue) 



—II— 



FROM DARKEST 23rd TO BUSY 16th 

"Upon thine altar then return, 
And leave thee sleeping in thine urn" 

Having concluded the first segment of our narration seething with the camou- 
flage smolder caused from smutchy publicity hokes, let us rove from the Crystal 
Palace at Murrays' abutments, and Walk a Mile to Campbell's ! 

"Caesar," upon the eventful occasion of the transition from darkest 23rd to 
brighter 66th, declared, "Behold! I Caesar have given origin to a new order of 
burial schemes." What a long and lingering perfume ! ! ! 

Nothing is more inimical to an agglomerate, impenetratable understanding, than 
the vintage of a supposed "new idea." 

As to this especial harmonica solo, we aver that in Ancient Tuscany when our 
ancestors threw cocoanuts at one another, and in later periods, orphan trepan strat- 
egists, plied their trade in manner suchwise, with possible ommissions of devices and 
stratagems such as we are about to regale the gentle reader with. 

More specifically about the jazbo that Campbell originally conceived the idea 
of an emporium where the sweet deceased can repose with all the conveniences of 
Church and Home, examination discloses and reveals. 

At Sakkara during the dynasty (2980 B.C.) in Babylonia among the Greeks — 
in the Selencia period, and in Rome, Nubia and Syria after the 1 and 11 dynasties 
not to mention the later establishments right in our own United Provinces : Oliver 
Bair of Philadelphia; Bonney Watson of Seattle; Jim Winterbottom ; Stephen 



Broadway Brevities 25 




A curious croivd collected about one of Frankie's "Montrosses," wondering hozv 
in hell he ever got from $500 to $3,000 apiece for those goldarned containers. 



Alerritt of Manhattan ; and Fairchild & Sons of Brooklyn, plus a possible 200 others, 
were handling cadavers according to Huyler long ere Frank Ellis Campbell deter- 
mined to whitewash the Raines Law Hotel at 1970. 

The site selected for this new Widow glucose impingement, was the hotel W 

By no means a toothsome edifice — on the contrary, it was pea green, cryptic, fore- 
boding and somewhat odoriferous. 

One of the fast disappearing chewing-tobacco emporiums with a special entrance 
'round the corner. 

Scarlet progenitors who ambled through the side entrance with Helen of Joy or 
her posterity, bedecked the register with a fetching scroll. 

Naturally, Frank cogitated about the kind of incense and fumigation required. 
Consultation with an architect resulted in a charge of $2,000 with a set of blue prints 
for proposed structural changes. 



Now for the Bad News! 

The Leonard Construction Company requested the modish sum of $75,072.35 
for their end of the job and the following addenda were also required — 

Iron work $6 

Interior Telephone 1 

Marble 1 

Runs 3 

Draperies 3 

Furniture 6 

Accessories 3 

Portable Floor Lamps 

Linht Fixtures 

Show Window Reflectors 

Pews 

Glazing 

Paintinpr 

Hot Water Hoiler 

Hardware 6.53 

When our hero meditated upon the foregoing specifications, he almost took a 
pleasant ride with Santos Dumont. 

How in the H. E. double scratch was he going to do it? 

Mr. Edgar L. Berry, the then installed efficiency chef, called in a trio of C.P.A.'s. 
Twenty-one days of research into the conglomerate mass of documentary papyrus 
of the Frank E. Campbell & Stephen Merritt Emb. Inst, of N. V., netted the recom- 
mendation by Berry to bury the refcro monumentum. historia and annates. 



,048.53 




120.30 


,563.00 




120.00 


,730.40 




110.00 


,248.25 




104.20 


,192.00 




100.00 


,162.80 




97.00 


.102.00 




160.00 


843.00 




61.33 


750.00 




99.00 


410.00 




82.00 


315.00 




65.00 


267.65 




33.75 


205.84 




22.68 


165.75 


Lumber 


12.67 



26 Broadway Brevities 

Nevertheless, it was conceded that the aforementioned combine possessed 
$10,573.36 in cash. $15,000 in moneys receivable, and equipment of the reasonable (?) 
valuation of $37,303.40. 

Two banks, a casket company and persona grata among our financial panties 
conspicuously figured in the obligation thus assumed. 

With one lusty swing of the shovel, the somber rigmarole of pledging and 
hypothecating everything down to a spare suit of B.V.D.'s as collateral security, 
was accomplished. 

To top this off, F.E.C. installed a pneumatic tube system so that messages of 
condolence and prognostication could be despatched with all possible speed through 
the various chambers in the premises, also a confidential dictaphone for the purpose 
of listening to the sibilant paregoric of the cash custom and employees??? 

The straining for effect was flabbergasting! So were the price tags! 

Finally the transition had become an intelechy. 

When therefore, Frank had successfully arranged his props for the Grand 
Opening he ambidexterously switched on the $2,179.43 worth of leaded dome, search 
and portable floor lights intending to dumfounder and stagger blase Broadway. 

Instead, he staggered under the strain of the accounts payable concealed in his 
vest pockets. 

The hokes were ostensibly for the attraction of the Refined Extract of Rubber. 
For the howling mob, first timcrously and then defiantly, assembled to view this 
most extraordinary spectacle. 

Every known variety of the specie of the genus homo came to view Impresario 
Campbell who with the air of conscious conviction of the super producer, attired in 
regulation cutaway, perambulated in the spacious foyer. 

The audience viewed the genuflexions and alluring poses of the embalmers and 
funeral directors carefully stationed, and a good time was had by all. 

Not a "Stiff" in Sight! 

What a pity that divine personification of perfection from the Limburger re- 
gions was not among those present? 

Unfortunately the cohorts of Kaiser Bill were not in especial favor on the 
occasion, and Frank had not yet annexed the Baer to his coterie of select morticians. 

Well folks, after the ball was over, when the primal dip in spring water and 
the cocktail of creation had lost its potency and become obscure in the medulla 
oblongata of F.E.C, the tocsin call of creditors could be vividly heard echoing among 
the objects of art decorating this veritable haven for decedents. 

Campbell was deeply aggrieved. 

Gotham's dead for some reason or other declined the hospitality of this gallip- 
tious emporium. 

Frank threw back his leonine head and worked his manly jutting chin in pitiful 
supplication to the tune "Where Do We Go From Here Boys." 

Oft' he joined the nymphs and water sprites across the way at the Marie An- 
toinette. These were days of abject poverty for Mrs. Campbell, who did all that 
was humanly possible to preserve the seemingly doomed gesheft even to the extent 
of piloting a duster and such other sanitary addenda with her own palms and digits. 

Eventually a cadaver or two found its way into 1970. Frank became more cheer- 
ful. He at once installed a new efficiency man, this time a Mister Miller. 

One bright summer's day (the year 1916) while our hero Frank Campbell was 
resisting the passionate wooing of the United States District Court and simultan- 
eously giving the I.O.U. variety of papyrus the once over, the U. S. Mail delivered 
a formidable pronunciamento. 



Broadway Brevities 27 

This assiduously declared that a casket company in Hagerstown, Md. had suc- 
cumbed to the jurisdiction of the U. S. District Court, as a corpus qui non est sol- 
vendo, and thus had for conveyance, by bill of sale, some twelve hundred ( 1200) 
MONTROSS CASKETS. 

Gentlemen, this is the most important announcement Campbell ever received. 

Frank regarded this with little force but great acrimony. Said he, "This is 
certainly the Cat's meow of a boob beguiler" — this wins the formaldehyde eyebrow 
lotion." 

Mrs. Campbell who was occupying a seat in juxtaposition to her formidable 
spouse, with her sharp-eyed, clear visualizing craftsmanship and feminine intuition 
exclaimed "Frank, for God's sake, get an airship! You're holding four aces and a 
iokcr against a laydoti-n, with the dealer chloroformed and a flush up your slcci'c!" 

Miller, the efficiency man, was the meditative flower with money making acumen 
who threw innumerable hand grenades of optimism and arguincntum in favor of 
scooping this offering. 

The noble Frank refused to be worked up to the proper pitch of agreeable 
response — and wiped a melancholy nose. 

While Frank was hooking his bicuspids over the brim of a container of prophy- 
latic seltzer lemonade, disporting himself on the average plan, this prophesier Miller, 
boarded a train for Hagerstown Maryland, and in spite of, in privation, without 
presignifying to, the omnipotent omniscent, that he intended so to do, signed the 
dotted line as agento for hero Frank. 

Did Frankie open wide the doors, and clean the mat of his heart to Miller, the 
crystal gazing clairvoyant occult, who through supernormal thought photography 
had visualized the hundreds of thousands in wampum his unappreciative and un- 
willing "Castor" was to liquidate directly from this Montross transaction??? 

In the language of Margaret of the Navarre Hotel, that's another story ! 

A large quantity of chilly air greeted Achates Miller — He was called every- 
thing down to a dish of beaten whites of eggs. 

Frank Turns in a Holler to Mohammed 

Think of it!!! after closing a deal procuring 1200 montross caskets at 10 iron 
washers per throw, which same Montross subsequently brought as quid pro quo, 3200 
gold simoleons at occasion, you could hear the ozone reverberate to the tune of 
Frank's cuss words for blocks — culminating with Miller being directed to the nearest 
exit. 

When later, Frank pocketed $1,000-$2,000-$3,000 per "sarcoph" for these sar- 
cophagii, he smacked his lips and made post facto declamations about how all wise 
and prognostic his associates were ! 

But, at the time under consideration, Frank was obliged to go out and hustle 
up some 20,000 pesos to pay for these carloads of Montross. 

Not wishing to engender a case of justifiable homicide, we shall refrain from 
revealing the identity of the gendarme who supplied the mazuma. 

Even with the 2,000 Montross containers gloomily stacked in his burial depot, 
will you, dear reader, pause for a moment and think of the situation by which Bre'r 
Campbell was confronted. 

2,000 Montrosses piled row on row — and not a funeral in sight! Water, water 
everywhere but not a corpse to plant. Bre'r Campbell felt like the Admiral of the 
Swiss Navy. He felt like an Esquimaux with a thousand tons of ice presented to 
him as a Xmas gift. He felt like a dealer in fireworks on the 3rd of July who has 
just bought through a misunderstanding three carloads of cannon crackers. Des- 
perate diseases required desperate remedies — and down on his knees he went. 



28 Broadway Brevities 

Knowing that God would never approve this "bargain sale" of coffins, he de- 
cided to address Mohammed instead. He had heard that Mohammed's coffin was 
suspended 'twixt heaven and earth, and suspected that if anyone would be in a posi- 
tion to understand an undertaking deal Mohammed would be the boy. 

. "BEHOLD THY SERVANT," he prayed to the Moslem oracle. "Behold thy 
servant with 1200 perfectly good Montross containers on hand, slipped over at an 
average of ten fish apiece! And not a case of Bright' s disease, floating kidney, 
valvular lesion or artcrio sclerosis anywhere in sight! Rcmcmberest thou the Hebrew 
faithful who prayed unceasingly for manna, Elijah on his Chinese forty days and 
nights supplicating a rainfall, Jonah in the whale's intestines — lo, thy servant is in 
harder case than any of these. Thy servant prays that thou, therefore, may send 
pestilence, .famine and flood upon Manhattan, that its boivels may erupt in earthquake, 
that not one stone be left upon another— FOR THE MONTROSSES MUST BE 
FILLED OR I PERISH!" But let thy servant add the important postscript that 
thine Angel of Destruction may pass by the threshold of 1970 Broadway, for other- 
wise this deponent may be the first to occupy one of the overstock containers." 

The Gigantic Hoax of the Three Nurses! 

Having revealed the amiable hokus-pocus concerning the Montross transaction, 
we now come to an occasion, the like of which has ne'er been recorded in the annals 
of fact or fiction— one of the most incredible and in the opinion of this chronicler, 
one of the basest deceptions inflicted upon a galaxy of belauding unrelated bereaved. 

It is the notorious episode of the Three Nurses. These three ardent and self- 
sacrificing angels of mercy had started out on the long trek to minister in the 
trenches of France to the brave boys suffering and dying there. 

They sailed on the transport "Mongolia" from Hoboken. And with no thought 
of the awful tragedy that was, a few hours later, to offer up their own lives in 
melancholy oblation. A defective gun aboard the transport exploded — snuffing out 
their lives in the twinkling of an eye. 

Their lifeless forms were brought back to New York — to the establishment of 
Frank E. Campbell. 

Did F.E.C. cherish and eulogise, as a patriot might, the glorious remains of 
these heroic dead? 

Did F.E.C. unbend upon this remorseless retrospection? 

Did F.E.C. fete champetre this splendid sacrifice? 

Did he abandon and sink his unholy thirst for funerals — forget for a moment 
the remunerative value of the occasion? 

Not on your greasy vest ! He licked his lips, and began at once to plan for 
another of the advertising stunts that are his pet specialty. Deep down in the throat 
a hoarse but gleeful chuckle connoted that the Associated Press would have 
assault without quarter. 

The intrinsically inconsequential factor that the bodies of these heroines were 
lying in state at Campbell's ponderously was emphasized and made the shibboleth 
and battle cry of Campbell and his press agents. 

Photographs pictorially portraying the chambers of Campbell were grappled by 
the dailys in which our hero had entry. Finally the bountiful and beneficent human- 
itarian advertised that a "Special Service" would be held over the Three Nurses 
at 8 p.m. 

But listen to the HOKE ! 

Before the clock in Campbell's had struck 7 on this eventful evening the bodies 
of the three martyr nurses, in execution of definite and direct instructions from their 



Broadway Brevities 29 

bereaved, were upon trains headed for western destinations — en route to the homes 
they had once inhabited and adorned. 

NOW — Frank Campbell knew this ! His associates, employees, aides and con- 
federates KNEW that at 8 p.m. the bodies were 50 miles away from the Funeral 
Church ! ! ! 

.Did they advise and notify the bono publico? Was a plain and Frank explana- 
tion given? In the patois of the pave, DID THEY TELL ANYBODY? 

Not .on your double-grip garters! 

At 8 p.m. the chapel of the Funeral Church was jammed to overflow with an 
assembly of unrelated bereaved, in acceptance of this invitation to pay respects to 
the three girls who had made the supreme offering upon the altar of patriotism. 

A dignified assembly of heterogeneous people hoked into coming so that the 
impressiveness of this holy occasion would result in practical and direct advertising 
of the audacious and enterprising burial foundry ! 

Among those present were the usual number of Nosey-Persons, Butt-Ins, Curious 
and Inquisitive females who idealize great grief and sorrow. 

Here was Campbell's opportunity!! 

Unblushingly, three empty caskets were painstakingly arranged before the altar 
in the chapel. 

The spectators and assembled congregation were shamefully misled and deceived 
into supposing that these empties, contained the bodies of the deceased in whose 
sacred memory they were thus witness, and adding defamation to unequivocal decep- 
tion, the red white and blue emblem of these United Provinces, was draped about 
these hollow coffins, while the organ tooted doloroso. 

An administro servio, a Clerus with his flowing and pious robes, ambulated amid 
these beguiling symbols of treachery, making mesmeric passes the while he expostu- 
lated, and fortissimo delivered a requiem, with a well directed aim at the tear ducts 
of these hoodwinked, emotional worshippers. 

We told a little way back of Campbell's prostration on his Chinese before 
Mohammed, praying for pestilence, flood and famine to ease him out of his hole 
on the overstock of Montrosses. 

Mohammed was hep — and Frank's supplications blossomed in one of the most 
devastating epidemics of Influenza in all time. 

Lowering the curtain on this perfidy, we now pass on to the following Fall. 

The Great Epidemic That "Made" Frank 

The Fall ushered in the slimy oozing morbus of pestilentia — The ghastly life- 
destroying bacteria, which proved a Belshazzars Feast for our casket trafficker. 

The economic law of supply and demand disported itself to the uttermost rami- 
fication of unholy greed. 

Frank was the solitary affluent mercator of arcula idis, independent of the closely 
pooled organizations, and consequently the bewildered and grief-stricken flocked to 
1970, in panicky hosts. 

Cadavers were removed to 1970, in touring cars — in wagons — in every form of 
perambulate conveyance. 

And so many as 48 decedents in a single day were transported to F.E.C.'s head- 
quarters. 

Campbell doubled his staff and simultaneously doubled their pay. 

The increase in honorarium was chiefly expended for 160 proof Schnapps and 
wassail for flu prevention. And these aides wobbled about utterly exhausted while 
a trio of hardy persons with vulpine vivacity shoveled the wampum into special 
receptacles provided for this purpose. 



30 Broadway Brevities 

At such intervals when the modish sum of $2,000 or more of gold simoleons 
was received in payment for one of the above-mentioned Montross caskets, the thud 
of the aforesaid $2,000 landing in the old sock could be heard rebounding through 
the entire building. 

The U. S. Mint by comparison, resembled a game of poker with a five cent 
limit. 

Campbell cleared his obligations with spontaneity. 

During this reign of horror, Anna Held, Harold Lockwood. Paul Keith, Frank 
W. Woolworth. and numerous other celebrities, succumbed, and were buried from 
our hero's establishment. All of which added great prestige, prominence and con- 
siderable stretching of the rubber band around the already distended roll. 

Naturally, this overflow of trade brought with it a number of pardonable mis- 
haps — such as : 

Dropping an occupied casket by pall-bearers. 

Occupied Montross falling from wagon enroute to cemetery. 

Losing all trace of a sweet deceased for several days, the while he reposed 
among the bric-a-brac, and impedimenta embellishing the spacious basement. 

The horrifying spectacle of a Campbell subject rising suddenly in his container 
at the critical moment when his sorrowing widow had expressed a desire to gaze 
once more long and lingeringly upon his inanimate visnomy. 

But. with all this — our illustrious comrade, prior to the annexation of Berthold 
A. Baer. was Virtue and Purity itself. 

This Prussian compared to Campbell would be like comparing Trotsky to Lloyd 
George — and I beg pardon of Trotsky for even mentioning him in comparison with 
the cdius Berthold. 

(The Baer facts will be published iu the September issue.) 

STUDIO OVERHEARDS 

"Stop your crying Stella ! He wasn't worth a dam anyway !" 
"1 always gets up and says just what's on my mind!" 

"He used to 'cruise' up and down the Commons when we played Boston last 
summer I" 

"Yes — but not the kind of strip polka you mean!" 

"If she's eighteen, then I'm fifty!" 

"Adventuress roles, my eye ! You'd be suited to nothing but the lowest comedy !" 

"Get away from me you big slob!" 

"Think up something exciting and I'll go cut withya, 'cause I'm sick of women !" 

"Did you see the look she i^ive me?" 

"You oughta be glad you wasn't with us last night. Myrtle, 'cause everybody 
got cock-eyed drunk I 

"If that faggot starts anything with me I'll lay him out!" 

"Wherdja take my girl friend Saturday evening. Carter? She didn't get home 
until daybreak!" 

"I've gotten so now that I don't give a dam what happens!" 

"What kind of grease paint are you using Paula? I like Spencer's the best 
'cause it always stays hard !" 

"I ain't saying much. Pansy, but I got my suspicions of how she got the part !" 

"That's the worse of getting too familiar with them stage hands." 

"Slip something over you, girls, the man from the gas company is coming up 
to look at the meter !" 

"I'll have to tell Mother I'm spending the night at Margaret's '." 

"Let your conscience be your guide. Dearie!" 

"Good night, you lease houns!" 

SECRETS OF HAIR AND BEAUTY REVEALED BY MERKE. 512 FIFTH AVENUE 



Broadway Brevities 31 



Jay Brennan is to present his partner, 
Bert Savoy, in a series of Shakesperian 
matinees. Mr. Savoy will play "Rosa- 
lind." for one thing. No mention is made 
of the remainder of the cast, but we 
presume Lester Sheehan will be to the 
fore in an important role. 

HOW ABOUT A CLEAN-UP AT 
THE BILTMORE? 

We've long commented on the cor- 
ridors of the Biltmorc Hotel as a stamp- 
ing ground for women who make the 
picking up of men a business. Our own 
observation is confirmed by an incident 
the other day, ending in the police court. 
Kathleen Champion, twenty, of Newark, 
accused by Mariano Agramanti of steal- 
ing $21.00 from him in a taxi, admitted 
that she bad joined him through a flirta- 
tion at the Biltmore. Witli our own 
eyes we have watched many such junc- 
tions near "Lovers Corner" in the Bilt- 
more corridors. Wouldn't it be a good 
idea for that apparently horse-and-sports- 
mad gentleman, John McK. Bowman, to 
do a little summer house-cleaning in his 
hotel r His foyer has been for several 
years the Mecca of the demimondainc. 
* * * 

Electric Chair for Cockroaches Fails 
to Work in Court — The Globe. Since it 
failed to work, why didn't they call in 



the old cockroach expert, Don Marquis? 
If he can't put cockroaches in order, no 

one else need hope. 

* * * 

Not that it makes the slightest differ- 
ence, but Zane Grey, scenario sleuth, has 
a country home of 600 acres in Lacka- 
waxen. Pike County, Pa. Says he spends 
"part of the year" thereon. Why not 
spend your entire time there, Zane? We 
mean — but you know, Zane, what we're 
trying to hint at! 

A FEW KIND WORDS TO HUGO 
RIESENFELD! 

Does that good old German-Jewish 
name of Riesenfeld run true to form? 
It looked that way when, two or three 
weeks ago, the irritating Hugo inflicted 
upon his American audience at the Rivoli 
a long series of news reel views of Yon 
Hindenburg and the German army. We 
understand there were expressions of in- 
dignation in the theatre, unmistakably 
composed of groans and hisses, and 
Hugo's "nerve" was rather informally 
commented on. But Hugo has the nerve 
of a Big Bertha — and the most incurable 
case of egomania outside the psychopathic 
wards. We would advise him to think 
twice before he insults and disgusts New 
Yorkers with further projections of what 
might well be disguised Prussian propo- 
ganda. 



Only ONE PLACE 

To Go in Greenwich Village! 

JIMMY KELLY'S 

"ALLEGRIA" 

181 Sullivan Street 

Entertainment and Dancing ! 

Ycu'! 1 love it. Artistic surroundings, every- 
thing spotlesslv clean; finest food in America. 
ANEW DANCE FLOOR, a noted Orchestra 
GAYETY, and FLO HAUSER (from 
Reisenweber's), and Jack Smith Sing. 

Phone Jimmy, Spring 4-2-4-2 for a Table! 






32 Broadu-ay Brevities 

"THE TALE OF A LITTLE DOG" 

SCENE: — The Den in Johnnv Hoagland's new home on East 80th St. 

TIME:— About 6 p.m. 

—CHARACTERS- 
MALE • . IN BETWEEN FEMALE 
Johnny A "Follies" Girl A Blonde Tramp 
A Big Bum A Red-Headed Tramp 
A Little Bum A Tramp From Brooklyn 
The Broadway Bum The Applesauce Kid 
— and The Radiophone — 

THE RADIO:— "STATION P.D.Q., NEWARK, NEW JERSEY. JUST 
A MINUTE PLEASE." 

JOHNNY: — "This is positively the last bottle, Goddamit, the house is going 
dry." 

BUMS and TRAMPS:— "Ha, Ha, Ha!" 

JOHNNY : — "No, uuh, I'm going broke — had to sell my house — Svvanstrom 
bought it." Damn good house — but I need the money. 

THE TRAMP FROM BROOKLYN :— "Give me twenty dollars, Johnny for 
a taxi home." 

JOHNNY:— "B.O.T., you stay with me— Tickle my feet." 

THE RADIO :— "EEEEeeeeeSqxzzzeeeOW ! STATION P.D.Q. WE 

HAVE WITH US TONIGHT MR. FRANK VAN HOVEN WHO WILL TELL 
US A SANDMAN STORY ENTITLED—THE TALE OF A LITTLE DOG* 

zzzzzzzzQQQ I TAKE GREAT PLEASURE IN INTRODUCING MR. 

VAN HOVEN owwowWOW ! 

THE APPLESAUCE KID:— "Hasn't he got a nice voice, I wonder if he 
looks like Rudolf Valentino?" 

THE FOLLIES GIRL:— "You like dark meat, don't you I hear that 

Larry Ceballos is going to marry Bee Savage, who used to be on the Roof. They 
won't have much money but ain't we got fun" 

THE BROADWAY BUM :— "Speaking of marriage, I understand that the 
Royal Family of Great Britain narrowly averted a social catastrophe by delaying 
the Prince of Wales' return home until just after Dorothy Clark sailed for New 
York. 

JOHNNY: — "Can't you forget that girl? She's forgotten you alright, alright. 
Find 'em, fool 'em and forget 'em — that's me I" 

THE BROADWAY BUM.:— "Well— Gimme another drink." 

THE LITTLE BUM :— "Yeah, and Mrs. DINGLE is still in Paris. I'll bet 
there's something in that divorce rumor after all. 

THE RADIO:— "GOOD EVENING SOAKS— er I MEAN FOLKS. TO- 
NIGHT, I AM GOING TO TELL YOU THE TALE OF A LITTLE DOG 

ONCE THERE WAS A LITTLE DOG, A LITTLE LAP DOG, A 

DAINTY LITTLE THING WITH LONG EARS AND A DROOLING 
TONGUE." 

THE FOLLIES GIRL:— "I've got a dog like that." 

THE BLONDE TRAMP:— "Oh say, Johnny, I was on the party that Harry 
Payne Whitney gave the night Wiskaway won. It was at the Vandcrbilt and talk 
about wild parties ! This was so terrible I wouldn't even dare tell you about it. 
But Gertie G got $2,000 out of it and she's still hanging on for more." 

THE APPLESAUCE KID:— "Well, that was a pretty good party that Sanchez 
gave on his fast yacht the other day. When the girls arrived in the tender, Al Davis 
was diving off the stern and if he had a bathing suit on, nobody noticed it. 

JOHNNY: — "Who was on the party?" 

THE APPLESAUCE KID:— "Oh, there was Helen Slyfield, Lea Kuba, Ruth 
and Rose Taylor, Al Davis, Nick Somcthing-or-other, Art Swanstrom and — Oh, 
a raft of fellows and girls I don't know — We got the captain so drunk, it's a wonder 
we ever made port. 



Broadway Brevities 33 




James R. 
MARSHALL 



gaining much 



and 
popularity 



Edna . 
MORN 

vaudeville 

Direction. M. S. Bentham 



THE BLONDE TRAMP :— "Well, if Helen Slyfield was along, Johnny 
Wichert must have heen there." 

THE APPLESAUCE KID:— "No, I understand that's cold. Helen is back 
with Billy Butler." 

THE RADIO:— "Now, THE YOUNG MAN WAS A VERY NICE YOUNG 
MAN AND HE WAS VERY MUCH IN LOVE WITH THE YOUNG LADY 
SO WHEN HE SAW THE CUTE LITTLE DOG HE DECIDED TO BUY 
THE CUTE LITTLE DOG AND GIVE THE CUTE LITTLE DOG TO THE 
YOUNG LADY TO PROVE HIS LOVE." 

THE RED-HEADED TRAMP:— "Hot Dog! Did you hear about the scrap 
between Battling May Devereaux and Elsa Peterson the night the Cantor Show 
closed at the Winter Garden. This Peterson dame has been pulling the 'Ambassador' 
all through the run and May had it in for her. Believe me, she took it out Saturday 
night with Betty Marshall and the rest of that quiet, dignified crowd cheering her on. 

JOHNNY: — "I don't want any of those girls around here — er Goddamit er — 
They get to fighting and wreck my place." 

THE RADIO:— "SO HE GAVE THE LITTLE DOG TO THE YOUNG 
LADY AND SHE WAS GLAD TO GET THE LITTLE DOG AND SHE 
STARTED IN TO TRAIN THE LITTLE DOG AND TEACH THE LITTLE 
DOG TRICKS ZZZZzzzzzzSQUEEE ! 

THE FOLLIES GIRL:— "What I'd like to know is. now that the O K— - 

matter is all settled up and the Wiley girl got all that money to lay off, why didn't 
Fay get hers? 

THE BLONDE TRAMP:— "Oh, the lawyers scared her off by threatening a 
lot of publicity." 



34 Broadway Brevities 

THE BIG BUM: — "Toby" was mixed up in that case, wasn't he? Now, that 
his wife's out of town. I suppose lie's reorganizing up in Sue Dinglebat's house. 
And Lobbygow Earnest pavs no rent at Bill's. 

THE RADIO :— "WHEN THE LITTLE DOG HAD LEARNED A LOT 
OF NEW TRICKS HE WAS ABLE TO GREATLY AMUSE THE YOUNG 
LADY AND SHE SPENT A LOT OF TIME WITH THE LITTLE DOG." 

JOHNNY: — "Say. what's become of that Peggy Freeman girl?" 

APPLESAUCE KID:— Oh, she went down to Coney Island with Ike the 
Geezer and the Harlem slugger, and she got a broken leg. 

JOHNNY: — "I "don't believe in girls drinking. It makes them crazy, hummm? 
It makes them steal ! I won't have it around my place, hummm ? 

THE RADIO:— "AND THE NICE YOUNG MAN WHO LOYED THE 
YOUNG LADY SAW LESS AND LESS OF HER BECAUSE SHE WAS 
MORE AND MORE WITH THE LITTLE DOG. 

THE BROADWAY BUM :— "It's a tough life! Henry Clivc called me up 
today. He says she can feel the baby kick now. Here's luck to him ! 

JOHNNY: — "Clive Logan's in town. His father died and left him a Stude- 
baker." 

THE RADIO:— AND THE NICE YOUNG MAN WAS VERY SAD BE- 
CAUSE THE LITTLE DOG HAD CUT HIM OUT THE MORAL IS: 

NEVER GIVE A LITTLE DOG TO YOUR LADY FRIEND. 

THE LITTLE BUM : — "They tell me that since that story appeared in the 
last BREVITIES, Collins gave Marion the air and she has resumed negotiations 
with Joe Baker. 

THE RADIO:— "STATION P.D.Q., AT NEWARK. NEW JERSEY 

THERE WILL BE AN INTERMISSION OF THIRTY MINUTES AT 

SEVEN P. M., MADAM LAPASNOOZA WILL PLAY THE FLUTE 

ssssqueccEEEEEEEE zzz zuck tick-ta-tick. 

JOHNNY:— "No. that's positively the last bottle Well, ugh!— Maybe 

there's one more OSWALD, are you THERE? 



There is a "Sport Review" being 
shown in the movie houses at the pres- 
ent time, purporting to be a picture of 
boyhood days, stated to be "edited" by 
Grantland Rice. We suppose, therefore, 
that Mr. Rice is responsible for the dis- 
gusting incorporation in the different 
scenes of colored boys — about as notori- 
ous a sample of bad taste as we have 
seen in a long time. If the censors 
passed this effusion of Mr. Rice's then 
let us tell them they have o.k.'d a bit of 
rank indecency, offensive to the majority 
of picture audiences. 

ANOTHER DANCE-HALL SHOOT- 
ING MATCH 

The dance halls continue to sustain 
their reputation as dens of vice and 
criminality. Not long ago there was a 
near-riot in Stauch's hoofing foundry at 
Coney Island when William Dorscy, of 
Brooklyn, was shot in the right arm. 
Someone named Yctter had objected to 
the way Dorsey was dancing, and the 
altercation resulted in the gun practice. 
Dorsey was held in $1,000 bail in Coney 
Island Court and another hoofing hyena 



on an assault charge. Why don't they 
place a sign over the door of the dance 
halls : "Park your cannons in the check 
room" — it might save a lot of target 
work. But, best of all, why not close 
the dance halls entirely, and thereby wipe 
out over half the felonies reaching the 
courts and more than half of the seduc- 
tions of young, unprotected girls? 

* * * 

So Evan Burrowes spilled the soup 
on "Sonny" Whitney- at last! Why 
don't "Sonny's" lawyers interview 
Russell Colt. "Dad Knows!" 

* * * 

Picking up "La Vic Parisicnne" the 
other day we were amused to find ad- 
vertised therein CREME TOKALON, 
the nostrum formerly floated in this 
country by E. Virgil (Nuxated Iron) 
Neal. Can you beat that guy? 

* * * 

Who was it cashed Pearl G.'s cute 
little check for her, made out to "Cash" 

and signed Babe R ? Is Pearl 

helping out on the mound? 



DON'T BE BALD— MERKE, 512 FIFTH AVENUE— TELLS HOW TO AVOID IT 



Broadii'ay Brevities 35 




FLO IS HEARD FROM 

The Stillman case having dropped oui 
of the front pages, many arc wondering 
where that important member of the 
genus homo, Flo Leeds, can be. Well, 
we're going to tell you. Flo is in Paris, 
and according to all accounts percolating 
through is having the time of her young 
life. They do say that a certain Ameri- 
can millionaire is keeping Flo's trail hot, 
but that he is far from being the only 
gudgeon in the lake, as Flo is said to 
be cutting a swathe across town that 
makes even the veteran Parisians gasp. 

"VESK" A CHRISTIAN SCIENTIST 

You may or may not be aware that 
Valeska Surratt, now in the Winter 
Garden "Spice of 1922." is an ardent 
Christian Scientist, having according to 
reports taken up this study two or three 
years ago. Vesk is the old side-kick of 
Aimcc Crocker Gouraud, who was the 
female Diamond Jim of first-nights, and 
many were the midnight parties at Mrs. 
Gouraud's old town house in the West 
50's at which Yesk was the star guest 
and frivoler. We used to hear of those 
parties, but never could write anything 
about them for the simple reason it is 
almost impossible to print BREVITIES 
on asbestos stock. However, new times 
new manners, and so we find the once 
vamping and galumping Yesk turned to 
the pages of Old Mother Eddy for con- 
solation and penitence. It is said that 
one of the bitterest sorrows of Vesk's 
life is that no baby fingers have ever 
caressed her throat, and of course the 
unfeeling venom of the years has made 
that luxury now presumably impossible. 
But hope never dies, and in the sup- 
positious necromancy of Christian Science 
who knows but that the old dear still 
seeks for a miracle. For you all know 
of that Scriptural miracle associated with 
the mother of Jesus, and realising the 
credulity of the adherents of that gigan- 
tic fabric of hokum and idiocy. Christian 
Science, there is no way of setting bounds 
to the hallucinations of its devotees. 



LINDY'S STAGES A SCRAP 

Is Lindy's delicatessen foundry on 
Broadway, near Fiftieth street, out to 
tie the championship scrapping honors 
hitherto held by that jovial soul, Aaron 
Reuben? Judging by an incident the 
other evening it looks that way. Two 
guys, coming out of Lindy's, apparently 
full of something besides Loganberry 
juice, expressed a desire for a cab other 
than the one the liveried dingc in front 
wished to push on them. After a brief 
altercation the dinge got a wallop on 
the jaw, seemingly a proper reward for 
"talking back," and the local constabu- 
lary of course soon appeared. However, 
the dinge did not want to go to the 
station to press the charge and the at- 
tackers bundled into their favorite taxi 
and drove off. If that sweet soul, Mr. 
Linderman (alias Lindy) doesn't watch 
out he may one of these nights have a 
race war in progress out front. 

* * * 

Does Perle Gcrmond ever hold noisy 

parties in her flat? 

* * * 

Wasn't Mac Deveraux prominent 
among the battling chorines in that final 
melee on the night of the closing of the 
Eddie Cantor show? And who owned 
the hair parked all over the sidewalk at 

7th and 50th? 

* * * 

Ever hear of the guy whose wife was 
so fat he had to put sand in the bed to 

keep her from falling out? 

* * * 

FRIGHTFUL COMING EVENTS 

Hey Broun's novel to be published this 
Fall. It's his first, and the title is "The 
Bov Grew Older." Can it refer to 
"H3d?" 

Long new narrative poem, by Edwin 
Arlington Robinson, also to be published 
in the Fall. 



PROFESSOR ALOIS MERKE— 512 FIFTH AVENUE— CURES BALDNESS 



36 Broadway Brevities 



OH, YOU TWO MEAN BRUTES! 

Talk about your grouchy hubbies, but 
Los Angeles has just turned out a win- 
ner. Lee Moran, screen comedian, all 
smiles on the flickers but worser'n ten 
wildcats at home, is sued by his wife 
Esther for divorce. She says that in 
addition to being .intoxicated "for the 
last four years" he — 
Kicked about her being a spendthrift 
Kicked about, the food bill 
Kicked about her cooking 
Kicked her out of bed 
Kicked her downstairs 
Kicked about the way she raised the baby 
Kicked because she wouldn't kick in the 

kale 
Kicked so much on a train she had to 

find another berth 
Kicked about the climate 
Slapped her face. 

In short, not just the kind of a chum 
you'd pick out for a rainy afternoon. 
We'll bet he suffers from either car- 
buncles or intestinal poisoning. 
* * * 

But here's another hubby, if anything, 
worse than Lee. He's Leo Bernheimer 
(no relative of George do you think?) 
of 238 East 87th street, Manhattan. 



What do you suppose was Leo's par- 
ticular brand of unsociability? Well, 
just listen. He'd take his side-dish 
Tillie Zinc, living on the same street, 
and walk her right past his wife, emit- 
ting cat-calls, laughing loudly and occa- 
sionally flipping a roll of bills right 
across his wife's nose! While doing 
this latter he emitted the meows. If 
that wouldn't sour any wife's disposi- 
tion we give up. But there's a big laugh 
in the tragedy, and the laugh is "Tillie 
Zinc." 



Far from the madding crowd and the 
scene of her success at the Cohan theatre 
Estelle Penning and her nice mumma are 
spending the summer way down in Nova 
Scotia, at Lower Argyle. near Yarmouth. 
Estelle promised to send us some jottings 
from the land of the bluenose, but we 

s'pose she'll forget. 

* * * 

A word of appreciation for that pop- 
ular manager. Jimmie Merrill, of the 
BOARDWALK, whose veteran skill 
makes the big place run like clock-work. 
And don't forget his able aides, George 
Berryman and Henry Surtes. 



Follow the Green or Yellow Poles To 

HALL'S INN 

Centreport, Long Island 
Eetween Huntington and Northport 

Famous Shore Dinners 

Sea Food, Steaks, and 
Long Island Chickens 

Service al a Carte at all Hours 



Telephone 90 Northport 



MUSIC & DANCING 



Broadway Brevities 37 



Did you ever encounter, clear of those ' 
really great writers Nathan and Mencken, 
such a collection of nit-wits as someone 
unhappily named "Burton Rascoe" (we 
always think of Bosco — eats 'em alive!) 
gets each Sunday in his page of person- 
alia in the trying Tribune? Who are 
they and whence came they — these nit- 
wits he mentions? Most of them seem 
to be disturbed about the young intel- 
lectuals. Are the young intellectuals 
right or wrong in their literary modes; 
what can we hope for from them; is it 
nice of them to trample on the classic 
tradition ? Stuff like that. We have per- 
haps no right to preen our bright feath- 
ers as an authority on the question. But 
if we had our way we would place all 
the young intellectuals carefully in a 
large canvas bag, tie it securely and slip 
it into the Hudson. We would take 
especial care that not one vers IU're poet 
or Cubist escaped the sack. Sherwood 
Anderson, Amy Lowell and Horace 
Brodzky would go in the very bottom 
of the bag, for we wouldn't want to take 
the faintest chance of their escape. Mr. 
Rascoe. himself, we would save, for he 
does seem to be in a hopeful twilight 
state between Free Verse and the Fool 
Killer. In any case he could be safely 
held over to the 1923 jettisoning. 
* * * 

Lucille Ballantine is a busy girl. Be- 
sides rehearsing for "The Passing Show 
of 1922," Lucille is taking vocal lessons. 

"THE CAT AND THE CANARY" 

Talk about your old-time "thrillers," 
with spooks and lonely manors and hands 
clutching out of walls and midnight vil- 



ARTISTS REPRESENTIVE 



CHARLESWALTON 

Serving- the Best With the Best 

in Pictures. Producers, Directors 

Motion Picture Service 

Bryant 5741 245 West 47 



lains and mysterious wills and young and 
lovely heroines exposed to murder and 
sudden death— just run in and see "The 
Cat and the Canary." The reason we 
feel glum about it is to see beautiful 
young Sylvia Field the target for these 
multitudinous horrors. And at dead of 
night, too. Horrors are bad enough, 
but at dead of night — ugh! However, 
Henry Hull, valiant wight, is there to 
save her, and all ends swell. Let us 
add how much the sprightly and pretty 
Sylvia contributes to the popularity of 
Broadway's astonishing hit. 
* * * 

What was it the bell hops of a famous 
Fifth Avenue hotel used to whisper and 
laugh about every day when the bride 
of a big tobacco merchant — now divorced 
— used to walk in such an apparently 
weakened condition from the lift? What 
caused this weakened condition, and was 
it the real secret and basis of the divorce 
not so many weeks ago? And aren't 
some men terrible? 



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38 Broadway Brevities 



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WINDY CITY WHISPERS 

In the way of reminiscence, remember 
Rexford Burnett who played the role of 
"Billie Benson" in East is H'est for about 
six months? Well, Rexie divorced his 
wife about a year ago, and a pretty five- 
year-old girl calls 'em pop and mum. 
Wifie is now known as Vera and is said 
to be the original manicure lady at the 
Morrison Hotel barber shop in Chi. 
Such beautiful, ahem! legs Vera hath 
that she once won a contest for these 
same interesting fixtures, the photo of 
the b.l. being printed and circulated for 
commercial purposes by a well known 
hosiery firm. Vera is now said to be 
knocking 'cm all dead in the line of 

suitors. 

* * * 

Another little bird flies in from Chi 
and twitters about Sylvia Twining, a 
former jewel in the beauty constellation 
at Ernie Young's Marigold Gardens. 
After 'this Sylvia resolved she would 
ditch the incandesccnts and so she hied 
herself, like a good wee girlie, to the 
sales counter in Marshall Field & Co.'s. 
But. after the twinkling lights, it was 
too hard work so she quit and has gone 
back to her goody — name unknown — who 
she calls "The Sheik." He has a car 
'n ever 'thin', and it's the end of a perfect 

day. 

* * * 

Al Herman tells some of his best jokes 
out of town, and the following is a 
sample. Al says he was standing in 
front of a Chicago theatre one day. when 
he saw a guy jump off the L platform 
to the street. Al walked over and asked 
him why he did such a crazy thing, and 
gave him a bawling out. The gink turned 
on him ferociously and said : "I had a 
bet on with myself. They say that a 
fairv can fly and 1 wanted to see." 



News of "Babe" Lavalle. who used to 
decorate the Strand Roof hoofing foun- 
dry, and is said to have been a great 
favorite of the managers thereat. Well, 



Babe has shifted her locale to Chicago, 
playing there in the chorus of "For 
Goodness Sake." As ususal she plays 
the heavy roll admirers, the present in- 
cumbent being reported with more Jack 
than the First National. The "Babe," 
unfortunately, is getting fat — yes, fat — 
but wears a smile as big as the Loop. 
* * * 

And Helen Paine, wife of Jerry 
Hitchcock, you'll be pleased to learn, is 
right in the ■ same chorus as "Babe." 
She used to do time at the Strand jazz 
factory. Hubby, as per usual, is very 
popular with everyone and infatuated 
pink with his clever wife. But why did 
Helen withdraw her radiance from 
Broadwav ? 



What prominent shareholder in a fam- 
ous revue, risen from obscurity and not 
so long since married to a beautiful pro- 
fessional, has been taking his pleasures 
away from the fireside with Billy W.? 
And wasn't it softer for Billy than with 
the New Jersey broker? (Pardon us 
for saying broker ! ) And isn't the "prom- 
inent shareholder" sitting on pins for 
fear Corrie may get wise to the whole 
gaff? 

* * * 

Is it true that Little Russie Colt, at 
present said to be the new and infatuated 
cavalier of Jessie Reid. signs his love- 
notes to the divinity. "Ducky?" Tis 
said that on phones to the Great North- 
ern he always croons. "Yes, this is 
'Ducky' clear." Wonder did he sign 
himself "Goosie" during the period of 
his long siege to long-legged Evan Bur- 
rows? That old kid did sure keep the 
trail hot for a while. But leave it to 
Jessie when there's real work to be 
done ! 

* * * 

"BLACK AND WHITE" 

Nothing to do with taxi companies, 
but a little glimpse into the far and near 
past. And concerning your little play- 
mates Nellie Black, of E. H. Fuller 



BALDNESS PREVENTED BY QUARTZ RAYS— SEE MERKE, 512 FIFTH AVENUE 



Broadway Brevities 39 



notoriety, and Nellie White, the pretty 
girl that poor Leon Langsfeld used to 
drape himself around. Both pals, funny 
to say — Black & White. Before Leon, 
Nellie W. had a great admirer in the 
corporeal substance and entity of Jack 
Grubman, proprietor in the old days of 
a noble liquor emporium at 10th avenue 
and 44th street. The two Nellies used 
to five together — in fact they may still 
do so. Both are said to be of Polish 
descent— -in fact might be sisters. Nellie 
White is in any case a nice, congenial 
girl, whom to know is to like, and if 
there was no other reason for liking her 
it would be supplied by her friendship 
with our dear old dead pal, Leon. For 
any wrong that he did he will no doubt 
pay on that other shore, but the love 
and grief of a few friends that knew 
him well will surely find him a refuge 
in God's mercy. 

* * * 

Now, the main question is — does Dotty 
King love the fiddler? 

Appropriate, wasn't it? Undertakers 
Convention adjourns sine die. 

OUR IDEA OF WASTED EFFORT 

Burglarising a five and ten cent store. 

* * * 

Realizing that slang obtained widely 
among the Greeks, we have often won- 
dered who the low-brow was so often 
referred to as Achille's "heel?" 

* * * 

"Bobbie," the belle of Perth Amhoy, 
changes the color of her looks so fre- 
quently that we have difficulty at times 
recognizing her, particularly under the 
shaded lights of the Broadway cafes. 



For Tired and 

Sensitive Feet 

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Made according to famous formulae 
of Dr. L. LISSMAN. Chiropodist 

Makes Walking Easy 

VAN DYKE Pharmacy 

1670 Broadway, Cor. 52nd Street 

New York, N. Y. 

Phone Circle 6643 



'Tis reported on good authority that 
Henry Harris (he of the sleek raven 
hair) has settled down and married. 
Rather funny, however, that he should 
be glimpsed about in a foursome, which 

included the ever-toddling Tot Quakers. 

* * * 

Oh we'll say that Hilda Ferguson is 
getting on. 'Twas but a year or two 
ago that she arrived in town from Balti- 
more dumber than a dumb-bell, and that's 
some dumb. Now she fights with man- 
agers, producers, and such like, walks 
out of shows and everything. Just a 
clever girl and quick to learn. 

* * * 

Who sprung the leak on the 'two Texas 
gentlemen' story? 



ARTISTS' REPRESENTATIVES 



ED. DAVIDOW 

and 

RUFUS Le MAIRE 

Bryant 841 1493 BVay 



Chamberlain 
Brown 



EDGAR DUDLEY 
Artists' Representative 

PUTNAM BLDG. Bryant 841 



JESS SMITH 

Motion Picture Enterprises 

114 West 44th St. New York 

Bryant 771 



40 Broadway Brevities 



'DIRTY DAVE"— (Continued from page 20) 



Funny thing, but on the very day of 
the fight, Da.e had just stepped off a 
train at the Grand Central, after an 
extended visit to his dear wife in New 

England of one whole evening 

Damned if it isn't touching! 

But the peak of Dave's experiences 
was probably readied in the famous, 
but hitherto unpublished, escapade of the 
private detective of the G. N. hostelry. 
Dave likes a body-guard, for the "rough 
and dirty" has its perils, and on a certain 
evening carried along body-guard Cook 
to a celebration at Reisy's. Booze and 
oaths flew thick and fast as usual, but 
about five on Sunday morning the happy 
little circle abruptly dispersed in a riot 
when Betty accused Cook of the extrac- 
tion from her corsage of a hundred 
dollar bill. Dave, it seems, had gone 
home, but Betty stuck and finally had 
Cook trundled over to the night-court. 
From this dismal location (on a phone 
reading Bryant 3106) Cook phoned fran- 
tically to his master and protector, Dave, 
at his hotel. Dave had long since retired 
to drunken dreams, leaving a warning 
not to be disturbed, but frantic appeals 
to the switchboard wren got the call 
through. Dave hastily donned his gal- 
luses, taxied unto the station and took 
Cook out of hock. Nothing more was 
heard of the incident. The p.d. got fired. 

Among Dave's favorite phone numbers 
are said to be Julia Howell. Fitzroy 
4900, and Miss "Williams." Wadsworth 
4220. That cute little trick Jean Tyler, 
reported to be a Hackensack telephone 
girl, maintained an address at 3905 Broad- 
way. 

Oh, here's a funny thing. We told 
you in May issue about wifie and daugh- 
ter suddenly showing up at Dave's hotel 
one night, at the very moment a wild 
party was in progress in his suite on 
the 9th floor. As you recall Dave kept 
'em waiting downstairs while he hur- 
riedly got a lien on suite 1000, floor 
above. Corsets, false hair and lipsticks 
are said to have been draped around the 



corridor outside 900 in amorous pro- 
fusion. Well, the kick is that suite 1000 
is said to be bomb — pardon we mean 
sound-proof — one of those cells that many 
of the hotels keep for snoring guests. 
Since wifie's presence in Manhattan, of 
course, the impenetrability of the walls 
matters very little one way or the other. 

Dave's been very "good" — that is ap- 
parently — since his enormously better 
half has been sojourning in Manhattan. 
But like the renowned little lady of 
childhood days when he's bad he's horrid. 
While his alcoholic skirt parties can not 
be conducted in his own quarters in the 
57th street hostelry, yet his many boon 
companions are only too glad to throw 
open their menages to such a princely 
bon vivant. And in these it is said the 
austed "hookers" of the howling Forties 
foregather at Dave's feasts of reason and 
flows of hootch. His choicest diversion 
is to discuss art, literature and the vinous 
musical glasses. He loves to spend whole 
evenings discussing the comparative 
merits of Bach and Beethoven, the 
literary status of Laura Jean Libbey and 
the best way to cure boils without iodine 

Oh, my yes ! But why did he 

send sweet Madeleine Bailey to Buffalo, 
on extended leave? 

Postscript — It was all over long ago 
with Vcrna Mitchell. 



Charlie Cathcart graced the sands at 
Castle's the other Sunday. Still the same 
old phlegmatic Charlie ! 



Farl Lindsay is another of our Broad- 
way celebs that has jumped the fatal 
hurdle, the charming Missus being none 
other than a dazzling little Cincinnati 



Did it annoy Count Tsaky and his fair 
companion to have Hitchy kid them as 
they sat themselves down in the front 
row at the Earl Carroll Theatre re- 
cently ? 



ELECTRICALLY GENERATED LIGHT RAYS FOR HAIR— MERKE, 512 FIFTH AVENUE 



Broadivax Brevities 41 



There seems to be more in the hastily 
exploded reports of the well known mil- 
lionaire's secret marriage than has come 
to the surface thus far in the newspaper 
reports — which at best were somewhat 
vague particularly regarding the bride's 
antecedents. Nothing having been said 
anent the latter's previous spouse, the 
quidnuncs — high and low — are scurrying 
about to discover whether he died, dis- 
appeared or divorced. 

* * * 

The charming Helen Shaw of musical 
comedy fame, recently underwent a pain- 
ful but not serious operation for the 
removal of her tonsils. Upon her return 
from Southampton, where she is now 
recuperating. Helen will make her ap- 
pearance again in one of the new summer 
musical productions. 

* * * 

Gertrude Spindler, the Cincinnati song- 
bird, cancelled an eight-week's Canadian 
tour last week, to jump into the prima 
donna role role in the "Bathing Beach 
Revue" at Murray's the production here- 
tofore lacking in a voice of quality. 

* * * 

What broke up the love-match between 
the world's champion hard-boiled egg, 



Walter Windsor, and petite Helen Arm- 
strong, who ought to know better, and 
who lost her dear French daddy a few 
weeks' ago ? 

* * * 

Well! Well! Well! Well! Dottie 
Clarke is back in our midst again. Well ! 
Well ! Well ! Well ! Cyclone and hootch 
cellars are being reorganized and re- 
fitted, salesmen are dusting off the Rolls- 
Royces, Tiffany's have sent a hurry order 
for several carloads of cracked ice, and 
real-estate operators are sleeping by their 
phones waiting for Dotty 's call. Far in 
the rear, a low. rumbling sound is heard, 
making a noise like a set of blue-prints. 

* * * 

Why is Leonard Leeds off the wine 
and wild women? Probably from the 
sweepstakes participated in by his pop, 
who was recently sued by Evelyn M. 
Lewis for 100.000 emerald fish. 

* * * 

Talk about a couple of dizzy blondes, 
how about "Birdie" and her sister in the 
W. U. window at Broadway and 41st? 

* * * 

Who is the beautiful girl Jimmy 
Auditore is seen with constantly — and 

where does Jeanne E get her wop 

dinners since he gave her the air? 



MADAME HELENA RUBINSTEIN 

of PARIS, LONDON and NEW YORK 

OFFERS For the development of a healthfully beautiful skin. 

For the immediate beaulification of the complexion. 



VALAZE BEAUTY GRAINS 
which open the door to boundless 
beauty, erase blackheads, reduce en- 
larged pores, do away with oiliness, 
give a ravishing, white transparency 
to the skin. They make the neck, 
throat, back, hands and arms as soft 
as swansdown, as lustrously white 
as alabaster. 

Price. $1.25. $2.50. 



M A I SO N 

DE BEAUTE 
"VALAZE" 




VALAZE GERANIUM ROUGE 
EN CREME 
which gives to the cheeks, to the 
chin and earlobes the piquantly fas- 
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geranium petal; or, the richly lus- 
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tone. Marvelously becoming to all 
complexions. As natural as nature 
herself. 

Price, $2.00. and up. 



46 West 57th St. 

New York City 
Telephone, Circle 4651 



42 Broadway Brevities 



Murray's Roman Gardens 

228 WEST 42d STREET 

Coolest Place in New York 
JOSEPH A. SUSSKIND Presents 

The "International Revue" 

SUGGESTED BY GUS EDWARDS 

A Wonderful Array of International and American Artists 



BILL PIKES 
Famous Orchestra 



«A* 



Exclusive iManagement 
JOSEPH A. SUSSKIND 



Have you seen clever Felix Krembs 
since he amputated that moustache? 

* * * 

Isn't Edythe Mannes (or Manners) 
sailing under false colors as to her 
nationality? Isn't it a fact that her dad 
and other relatives run the "Hampton 
Shops" and that "Mannes" might really 
have been Mannix at one time? 

* * * 

Bet you missed seeing Oscar of the 
Waldorf the night he was carrying that 
lovely bundle in front of a well-known 
vaudeville theatre, and his pal helping 
his uncertain footsteps? 

FRISCO'S LATEST 

Frisco never gives us any advertising, 
but we think he's the funniest guy in 
the world. A friend in Chicago has just 
sent us a few of his newest gags. Listen 
to 'em : 

Sitting in Henrici's at midnight he saw 
Gus Edwards coining in. Frisco rose 



from his chair and yelled loudly : "Ladies 
and gentlemen, save your children !" 

In the same cafe one night he noticed 
a ham picking his teeth. He said : "Don't 
do that — you may lay off next week." 

Some thrce-a-day 60-per tried to get 
familiar with Frisco. "Say," said Frisco, 
I'll bet you haven't got your winter 
underwear off yet." 

Frisco was talking to a pretty girl 
one night in the lobby of the Sherman 
Hotel. When she left a friend remarked : 
"Frisco, that's some doll — isn't she in 
Lilies of the Field. By the way, do 
you know what part she plays?" Frisco 
replied: "I haven't seen the show b-b-but 
I imagine she plays the F-F-Field." 

Frisco told a Chicago acquaintance he 
understood George White had married 
Marie Dressier, but he di-di-di-didn't 
believe it. 

He saw some chorus dames feeding 
rolls to an old cab horse on Randolph 
street. "S-s-say Girls," said Frisco, 
"w-w-why don't you get him a cup of 
c-c-coffee?" 



illlllllllllll 




M 



CA S T O L D I 



312 WEST 58th ST. Phone Columbus 8176 | 
$ 1 DINNER ^oi^rf I 

Special Italian Dishes A la Carte for Luncheon 

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SOOTHING AND RESTFUL HAIR CULTURE— MERKE, AT 512 FIFTH AVENUE 



Broadiuay Brevities 43 



AN "EXPERIENCE" WITH MR. 
EDWARDS DAVIS, "PHOMOTER" 

Prominent in the wreckage at present 
strewing the treacherous reefs of Wall 
street is the battered hulk of Stillwell, 
Leffler & Lowe. This firm was a mem- 
ber of the Consolidated, and maintained 
a branch office in the Knickerbocker 
Building, the manager of which was your 
old pal, Edwards Davis. Mr. Davis 
started life as a minister of God. laying 
aside the cassock to become, in turn, 
novelist, poet, actor, playwright. Promp- 
ter of the Green Room Club. President 
of the N.V.A. and then stockbroker. 
Now that his latest enterprise has gone 
to smash in the failure of S. L. & Lowe, 
it is said that he has taken up a new 
promotion, even soliciting elevator men 
to come in on "a sure thing." We feel 
sure that the recital of one of his Knick- 
erbocker Bldg. clients concerning her 
"plunging" with Mr. Davis would prove 
highly instructive and entertaining, not 
to say disturbing, and we shall have the 
young lady narrate it in our September 
issue. 




FLO MAXWELL 
In a pensive pose, probably thinking 
how nice it is to help adorn Sainmie 
Salvia's wonderful "Boardwalk" show, 
the talk of Broadway. 



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BROADWAY'S 
HAIRDRESSING 



2295 
Broadway 

Schuyler 5449 



IS 



FAVORITE 
PARLORS 

1005 
Madison Ave. 

764 Rhinelander 



CHARLES 

& ERNEST 



PERMANENT HAIR WAVING 

Under Personal Direction of Mr. Ernest 



20 EXPERTS TO WAIT ON YOU 

Phone either Shop for Appt. 
Broadway Store Open Until 8 P. M. During Winter Season 

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44 Broadway Brevities 



GUY LOOMIS 

Wall Street's Gargantua. The man who put "Bulldog Jaw" and 
"Commanding Personality" in the language. Tops the topless towers of 
Ilium ; an animate Singer Building ; the Martian of Manhattan ; the super- 
giant who could walk about the world using the Himalayas for a foot- 
rest and the Alps for a writing-desk. Who, by allowing the emplacement 
of the Lick Telescope on his hat, could in a moment allow the Mystery 
of the Spheres to be solved. When he laughs it as the booming of the 
breakers at Long Beach, as though Thor were welding another world on 
his anvil, as if the Noise of Centuries were expressed in a single detona- 
tion. Gazing upon this Apex of Altitude one feels as does the habitant 
in a canoe beneath Cape Eternity. Yet the merry twinkle of eye, the 
athletic grandeur of conformation, the mien, condescending yet imperial, 
intrigue and fascinate. When this Olympian Oligarch stoops to the lowly 
Phrynes of the Footlights, companioning and befriending them, amaze 
dissolves in adoration, bewilderment in bonhomie, fair Venus rising in 
splendor o'er the embattlement of White Rock, Schultze's Ginger Ale 
and Iced Sarsaparilla. The Colossus of the Ticker accomplishing Trifles 
with Dignity. 



GUS EDWARDS' INTERNATIONAL 

REVUE AT MURRAY'S 

ROMAN GARDENS 

was the sensation of the "re-opening" 
there on the evening of the 21st. The 
revue appears at both the dinner and 
supper shows. Murray's is now under 
the personal management of Jos. Suss- 
kind, and is coming back to all its former 
glory. It was packed by celebs on the 
"re-opening" who witnessed a "hit" of 
the first order. Gus Edwards has an 
aggregation of artists known the world 
over, and unique and surprising features 
mark the show, which will be switched 
every Sunday to Blossom Heath Inn, 
also under Joe Susskind's expert manage- 
ment. 

* * * 

What's the story of the "battle" be- 
tween Dick Keene and Emma Haig, 
which it is said has divided the "Music 
Box" cast into two camps? After being 
close pals so long, why allow a flossy 
little blonde to start trouble between so 
popular and clever a pair? 



WHY?— FRANK 

Why does Frank Van Hoven go home 
to his bachelor apartment in the Claridge 
every night and phone to some little 
town way out in the west? — And does 
Artie Swanstron's pleadings have any 
effect? — And does he have her picture 
with him even on the stage? 



James R. Marshall and Edna Morn, 
recent features with Flo-Flo, Maytime, 
Buddies, Fiddlers Three, April Showers 
and Mary, have joined in a singing and 
dancing act for vaudeville called "Good- 
bye Broadway," which is highly spoken 
of. This gifted paid possess personalities 
especially pleasing and are prime favor- 
ites with theatre-goers. 
* * * 

Old friend Gus Schult isn't saying 
much as he's too busy attending to pat- 
ronage at his "Ben Hur" on City Island, 
so charmingly situated and so desirable 
for motorists who like a short drive and 
a good meal to top it off. 




W. AUGUSTUS PRATT, M. D. 

FACE SURGEON 

Largest Establishment in the 
World for Facial Corrections 

40 WEST 34th STREET 

Phone Knickerbocker 25 

Noses Invisibly and Immediately 
Shapened 



Broadway Brevities 45 





NOW OPEN 



Bathmq Beach 

IN THE. 




I2IW45" 



-;»fes 




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Bobbie 
Beaumont 



Vaudeville's well-knovm 
inlerprctor of female 
characters who has 
brought back from Paris 
the latest creations for 
use in his new offering 
in the fall. 

G 

G 
G 


c 

G 



46 Broadway Brevities 



Mme. Helena Rubinstein, world-famous 
beauty specialist, has just sailed for 
Paris, and it is whispered will bring 
back a number of beauty preparations to 
startle her exacting clientele. Mine, 
Rubinstein has been called the "artiste 
of science" and everyone 'is awaiting her 
return with intense curiosity. Thousands 
of women in New York owe their pres- 
ent youthfulness to Mmc. Rubinstein. 



$500,000 O.K.! 

The old street seems to have on band 
a pip of a scandal at present, if the 
stories being whispered in the cafes have 
any foundation in fact. "Tis to the effect 
that a well-known magnate of society 
and finance was not long ago pried loose 
from a bundle of dough big enough to 
dislocate an iceman's back. The break 
on the kick-in — said to have been a half 
million cold — is that the magnate was 
framed for a little apartment party con- 
sisting of himself and a doll, and at the 
correct moment a surprise squad jammed 
in and found Mr. Mag and his companion 
in a Garden of Eden condition. The 
story was taken to a well-known news- 
paper, which consented to print it if the 
plant filed a complaint. She DID. But 
right at this terrible moment Mr. Mag's 
attorneys hutted into the tragedy and 
their negotiations with the legal light 
on the other side resulted in a settlement 
for just $500,000. Funny part of it is, 
the Mag's lawyers are said to have sliced 
off $150,000 for their own end when 
closing the deal. How the story got 
"out" was through the squeal of a news- 
paper-woman concerned and two of the 
raiding party who were double-crossed 
on their share of the spoils. The attor- 
ney on the "plant" end is said to be the 
same one who had as his client, some 
months ago, the gent who beaded the 
hold-up. 




ELVA LLOYD 

As you can see Elra is Z'ery easy to 
look at. Site is featured in Gus /Edwards' 
International Revue at MURRAY'S, 
and we'd think Elva would have no 
trouble briny a feature anywhere. 



Gilbert Boag scores again with his 
"Japanese Gardens" (Castles-by-the-Sea) 
at Long Beach, a revelation of Gil's 
master-hand such as the famous Beach 
has never before witnessed. When "Gil" 
opens a place watch for the celebs, and 
they arc now packing Castle's night and 
day. No more delightful place exists 
on the Atlantic coast-line. Cuisine, ser- 
vice, appointments — all up to the Boag 
standard. 



william Mcdonald 


WM. N. KERR 


TIMES SQUARE 


PHARMACY 


208 WEST 43rd STREET. 


NEW YORK CITY 


PHONE. BRYANT 2713 

on) 


P. S. — This is where we 


buy our make-up. 



Broadway Brevities 47 




ED. DAVIDOW 

and 
RUFUS LE MAIRE 

Want 

20 Beautiful Girls 

for 
GEORGE JESSEL'S 

"Troubles of 1922" 

Featuring 
The COURTNEY SISTERS 

To Tour 
The Shubert Vaudeville Circuit 

Opening September 4 
H^r* Apply at Our Offices 

PUTNAM BUILDING 
1493 Broadway— Immediately! 



48 Broadzvay Brevities 



MOUl 
ROUG 






Rjrty Ei#rtli St © Broadvay 



BILLY ARNOLD'S 

NEW 




i 

S "Society Circus 

Twice Nightly: 
7.30 P.M. and 11.30 P.M. 

KJ Phone Bryant 1 622 for Reservations t^ 

Table d'Hote Dinner <SjE5*p> fT^ffn 

No Cover Charge at Dinner. <£p>f^flo*4 !s *'^L*' £4 

r5aS2SZSHSSSHSHSESHSSSHSBSHS2SHSaSHSH5H5HSHSS5HFH5B5H5H5B5HSH525£SH5HSef-:?i 

G 

C 
THIS SPACE RESERVED g 

FOR ONE YEAR g 

1 G 

a for I 



I CHAMBERLAIN BROWN 1 



% 



1 AGENCY I 

3 I 

5 160 WEST 45 

a Phone: Bryant 9130 NEW YORK Bj 

Jj rj: 



B.F.KEITH'S 
NEW YORK THEATRES 

PRESENTING- KEITH VAUDEVILLE — STANDARD OFTH& 
WORLD FOtZ A THIRD OF A CENTURY 




THE MILLION DOLLAR, JTHE-ATIZEr- 



thi<: 

LEADING 



VAUDEVILLE 



HOUSE OF 
THE WORLD 



AND PREMIER MUSIC HALL 



BROADWAY and 47th STREET, NEW YORK 

Those who love distinction and luxury will find the 
appointments of this theatre completely to their liking. 
In the bills presented there's a dash of everything 
worth while in theatricals. The best that the Operatic, 
Dramatic, Concert, Comedy and Vaudeville stages can 
offer, blended by experts in entertainment 

DAILY MATINEES, 25c, 50c, and Best Seats 75c. 
EVENINGS, 25 cents. 50 cents, 75 cents, S1.00 and $1.50 



E. P. ALBEE 
President 



J. J. MURDOCK 
General Manager 



F. F. PROCTOR 
Vice-President 



B. F. KEITH 
Vaudeville Exchange 

(AGENCY) 

(Palace Theatre Building, New York) 

B. F. KEITH EDWARD F. ALBEE 

A. PAUL KEITH F. F. PROCTOR 

Founders 

Artists Can Book Direct by Addressing 
W. DAYTON WEGEFARTH 



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o 

LONG 
BEACH 

Best 

Shore Dinner 

on 

Long Island 

Palais Royal, Management